Chapter 55: Combustion Titan: Exile by Dann

Aisell sat at the data terminal and bounced her leg with eager anticipation, of all the things she had endeavored to accomplish this was one thing she didn’t feel guilty for taking pleasure in. Single handed she had bested Lyroo and rescued her friend from slavery; she did it using brains not brawns and had done so in a relatively short amount of time.

As the computer connected the call and awaited a response from the recipient. Aisell could not help but wonder about Darren’s state of mind. He had seemed distant and faded, almost disconnected when she had spoken to him. It was to be expected as he had gone from torture, to condemnation right into slavery without as much as a second to catch his breath.

Eyrn had also seemed anxious, not at all exuberant and excited to see Darren again as Aisell had expected. Oh, she was happy that Darren was safe, but her anxiety over facing him was clearly guilt-fueled, Aisell at least could tell that much.

“Hello?” On the screen the face of Loona Armac greeted Aisell. She was seated at a stationary terminal, her appearance was casual but presentable, and unlike the previous calls she was alone, without her human companion Nonah, or her friends Niall or Naskia.

“Loona, hey.” Aisell shook herself from her stupor and smiled a thin contemplative smile.

“Hey Aisell, what can I do for you?” Loona asked, leaning back in her chair after making a few screen adjustments.

“Do you have a few moments?” Asked Aisell gently, the gears in her head were already working out how best to explain everything to Loona, but she didn’t really expect a hostile reaction.

“Well, I’m between a rock and a hard place at present, but I have a few moments sure.” Loona said with a cordial tone. Loona was generally 80% business 20% casual and getting hold of her at all through her packed schedule was no small task at all. Aisell had been fortunate this time not to have to wait for a call back.

“Good,” she continued, “because have I got something that is going to make your day!” Her grin spread from ear to ear, chock full of confidence – and seasoned with not too humble a portion of arrogance.

“O..kay, what’s up?” Loona asked suspiciously, leaning into the screen a bit and puckering her lips into a thoughtful, concerned expression.

“I got Darren back!” Aisell spat out bluntly. For all her strategy and planning, Aisell couldn’t hold back her excitement, and opted for blurting it out instead.

“Beg pardon?” Loona asked suddenly, her whole body tensed up and her voice tightened.

“I got him back, from Lyroo. He is no longer in her possession, we have secured him from bondage, where she is he is no longer!” Aisell said with more than a bit of sarcasm.

Loona shook her head abruptly and spoke quickly, her knuckles tightened as she grasped hold of the nearest item to her and wrung it like a wad of tissue paper.

“How? When? Is he with you now? What did you do? Oh god you didn’t break the law did you? Aisell tell me everything…and I mean everything!” Loona said, quickly and sharply.

Aisell blinked repeatedly and gave her head a sudden shake, of all the reactions she had prepared for, this was not on the list. “I…well I can’t. It’s complicated.”

Loona Armac just about fell off her chair and would have toppled the video screen over had it not been a projection holoscreen. “What do you mean complicated!?” Loona said harshly, her voice scarcely below shouting.

Aisell didn’t respond at first, but her eyes burned a hole through Loona, and her posture tensed up as she went on the defensive. “If I could explain it quickly, it wouldn’t be complicated. You’re just going to trust me, alright.” Aisell phrased this as a statement, leaving no room for argument.

Loona puffed up like a cornered alley cat and spoke with a whip in her voice. “Aisell, how you went about this is of immense importance! If you did something questionable you could have set things back to square one!” Loona’s face was red and she looked just about ready to burst.

“There was nothing questionable about it, Darren is no longer in Lyroo’s possession and we needn’t worry about her for the foreseeable future,” Aisell said through gritted teeth.

“Theft is a class one offense Aisell! Not only could you face jail time, but Darren will be thrown back into the system until the court case is seen through! Aisell, Lyroo holds ownership of Darren and as long as she does….”

“Well, see that’s the thing.” Aisell said as she sat back and crossed her arms over her chest. “Lyroo doesn’t hold the ownership papers,” Aisell paused, just long enough for the vein on Loona’s head to threaten to burst.

“What are you talking about!?” Loona said, standing and leaning forward on her desk.

Aisell swiped her hand over her screen quickly a few times and opened a shared document they could both see on their respective screens. Aisell then sat back with her hands behind her head and a feral grin across her lips.

Loona read the document aloud, her eyes busily scanning it over as she did. “You’re shitting me!?” Loona exclaimed and brushed the document away with her hands. “Emperors teat, how did you manage to convince her to do this!?” While Loona no longer felt upset, she was still on high alert and shouting nonetheless.

“I already said, I can’t say.” Aisell said. While she had no respect for Lyroo Prenn, she was a woman of her word and had no desire to break it.

“Gorram Aisell this is serious! What did you do!?” Loona shouted.

“Sorry, you’ll just have to trust me.” Aisell responded.

“Gorram!” Loona slapped the desk and glared daggers through Aisell.

“He is safe, we don’t have to worry about Lryoo Prenn, she is out of our hair. She won’t bother us,” Aisell said simply.

For Loona this was person, Lyroo Prenn was a thorn in her side and a vicious little prissy one at that. Lyroo also controlled the largest most influential and political body that dealt with the fate of humans in the Empire. She was neither a pushover nor one to be taken lightly. “Aisell….”

“I’m sorry, I gave my word.” Aisell said calmly.

Loona took a moment to compose herself, she looked away and was silent for a long while. “I want to see him.” Loona said as she snapped her neck to face Aisell again.

“Sure, no problem,” Aisell said softly.

“In person, I need to know he is alright!” Loona said with out resource.

“Are you afraid I would do something to hurt him?” Aisell spat out with a frown and a glare.

“I just want see he is okay,” Loona avoided further discord and bulldozed right to her point.

“I’ll talk it through with Darren and get back to you when he is ready,” Aisell said plainly.

“Does Eyrn know?” Loona asked quickly.

“She is here now, they are in the living room together.” Aisell folded her arms and looked down at the desk. “Look, he is going to need some room, I think Lyroo got to him…I swear as soon as he is willing we will arrange a call, maybe we can even come to Tannhauser. I’m sure Eyrn and Darren would love to meet you and Niall,” Aisell smiled, brushing her hair aside. Aisell herself felt a great debt of gratitude to Naskia Bass as well, and would gladly take any chance to meet her face to face.

Loona sighed. “Call me back as soon as he is willing…we can arrange something.”

“Sounds good.” Aisell nodded. “Gotta go see how they’re doing. I will keep you informed,” Aisell hovered her hand over the hang up icon.

“Okay…and Aisell….”

“Hmmm?”

“Good job…”

Aisell smiled just a little and closed the call. That, was all she really wanted to hear.

The others were sitting in the living room waiting for Darren to finish with getting washed and dressed. Eyrn had taken the news with surprising calm and maturity, showing more remorse and sorrow than blind rage and outrage. Her facial expressions went from bad to worse as Aisell explained every detail she had available, Aisell has been expecting Eyrn to be a wash of emotions, however much like Darren she seemed to clam up and bite her tongue, nodding and answering everything curtly and breathlessly. Eyrn seemed just as lost and confused as Darren, which was understandable, considering how she felt about the issue. Aisell couldn’t help but notice the striking similarity between Darren and Eyrn which often showed in tense situations.

Eyrn waited with Lezah and the others while Aisell had been on her call, the two remaining Maris sisters discussed past events amongst themselves when Gae brought Yamma and Darren into the room. The tension was as thick as fog and everyone went stoic and silent as Gae Nethula set the two humans down on the center living room table.

Nobody knew quite what to say, Aehzay let out a tense deep breath and momentarily puffed her cheeks as she adjusted herself on the large armchair, Lezah uncrossed her legs quickly and sat up, as if sitting lax and easy was inappropriate given the circumstances, then fidgeted as if second-guessing her decision. Lezah settled on a rather awkward position with her hands gripping the cushion she sat on and her ankles crossed over one another. Yamanu stood behind Darren as if preventing some sort of retreat, while in reality Yamma was simply trying to stand out of the way.

Gae sat back on the couch next to Lezah, while Eyrn was seated in the small armchair across from the one where Aehzay was. Everyone was silent enough to hear a pin drop a mile away, Eyrn in particular just sort of looked onward at Darren as if she had seen a ghost.

It wasn’t that Eyrn wasn’t happy to see Darren, nor was it that she wasn’t concerned about his well-being, Eyrn just didn’t know how to approach him. Darren always greeted her with hearty hello in a robust voice, he always had time to talk when she needed somebody, always seemed pleased to see her even when she was engaged in activities she shouldn’t be. Darren was Darren, but the man before her didn’t quite seem like the person she remembered. Eyrn was unsure how to approach him, since as long as she had been sitting there he had yet to so much as look in her direction.

Darren slowly eyed everyone lazily, first he looked back at Yamanu, then he looked off to Gae, Lezah, Aehzay and finally Eyrn. When his eyes fell upon Eyrn, he lingered for a moment, then quickly looked away as if ashamed to look her in the eyes.

“The shirt fits nice, doesn’t it?” Gae spoke up, looking to Darren and then the others quickly. Anything was better than the painful awkward silence.

Aehzay offered a forced smile and looked down at her lap, Lezah slapped her knee and stood, looking to the others brightly. “Anyone thirsty? I’m going to go make some tea, does anyone want tea? I could use some tea.” Lezah began to head to the kitchen.

“Oh, that would be nice.” Gae spoke up, looking down to Yamma.

“Sure,” Yamanu nodded.

“Zhay, mind giving me a hand?” Lezah said leading.

“How hard is it to make tea?” Aehzay asked and narrowed her brow.

“I could just use some help is all.” Lezah spoke under her breath.

“Did you forget where we keep the tea leaves?” Aehzay joked.

Lezah coughed subtly and made a jerking motion with her neck towards the kitchen. “I enjoy your company, that’s all,” Lezah said, her eternal patience wearing just slightly thin.

“Fine, fine, how can I argue with that?” Aehzay relented at last and pushed herself off the chair to stand.

“Darren, Eyrn, would either of you care for tea?” Lezah said cordially.

“I’m fine.” Darren said softly.

“No, thank you,” Eyrn tore her eyes off Darren long enough to look up, smile at Lezah and shake her head.

Gae looked down to Yamanu who looked back to Gae, the two exchanged verbal cues for a moment before almost simultaneously speaking up. “Why don’t we see if they need any help?”

Gae offered Yamma her hand, which he eagerly accepted, and the two speed off into the kitchen after Aehzay and Lezah.

Darren looked at his feet while Eyrn shuffled about until she was kneeling on the floor in front of the short living room center table. Eyrn sat on her feet and rest her hands on her lap, there was a still quiet before she spoke softly. “Its…uh…good to see you again, Sarge.”

Darren nodded.

“What’s the report?” Eyrn asked, trying to show a hint of a smile.

Darren shrugged.

Eyrn wrung her hands together and looked up at the slow spinning ceiling fan, this was much harder than she had expected.

“I ought to tear that bitch a new asshole, eh?” Eyrn said with a healthy mixture of amusement, spite and sarcasm.

Darren shook his head slowly no.

“That’s what Aisell said too.” Eyrn shrugged. “Assault and battery is frowned upon here too, I suppose.” Eyrn bit her lip, but after a moment went on. “Suppose I could get off on my good looks and charm?” Eyrn smiled hopefully.

Darren shrugged.

The most painful part was the fact that he wouldn’t look at her, but somewhere inside Eyrn understood why. Still, the silence was unbearable and so she pushed forward.

“What did she do to you Sarge?” Eyrn asked at last, her voice low and timid.

Darren was quiet and motionless this time, he didn’t even so much as flinch.

“That bad huh?” Eyrn sighed and looked around the room. “Sarge, look….”

“Shouldn’t call me that.” Darren spoke at last.

Eyrn nearly jumped when she heard his voice, weak, soft and low as it was. “What do you mean?” Eyrn sat up a bit and looked to Darren carefully. “You’re Master Sergeant Darren Avery…the Sarge…you’ve cussed out men for calling you less,” Eyrn chuckled wistfully.

Darren just shook his head, he still didn’t look to Eyrn. “Not here, just Darren here.”

Eyrn frowned and shook her head fiercely. “Bull, you’re still the same man you’ve always been. One crazy prissy little bitch can’t change that.” Eyrn’s voice grew louder and more defensive.

Darren just shrugged.

“Darren…you can’t tell me you believe everything she told you? All those lies? Darren they’re horseshit, she’s just an ignorant son of a bitch who doesn’t know what she’s talking about. You know that right? Sarge? You know that…you have to.” Eyrn leaned forward, her voice went from slightly angry to desperate and confused.

Darren shook his head. “Doesn’t matter…not really.”

“No, it does matter. Sergeant, snap out of it and buck up…this isn’t you. This isn’t Master Sergeant Darren Lemuel Avery, you don’t just give up like this. I can’t believe what I’m hearing,” Eyrn said, her pale face going flush from excitement.

Eyrn opened her mouth a few times, but stiffed herself and pushed off the table to stand. Eyrn began to pace back and forth between the center table and the lamp stand across the room.

“This is all Lyroo Prenn’s fault!” Eyrn spat, shaking her head and clinching her fists.

***

“I’m just saying, I don’t think we can trivialize this by putting the blame on any one person. Of course I’m not justifying what happened, nor am I letting anyone off the hook. I’m just saying this is a complicated issue and we can’t just blame whomever is most convenient,” Yamanu said as he leaned against a large white pillar of a salt shaker.

“I didn’t say that Yamma,” Gae defended as she crossed her arms over her chest,” but it’s hard to deny that none of this would have happened at all had the legislature gone through with the embargo on insectoid narcotics. They’ve opened the door to an entire drug culture built around insect maggots, all because of ‘cultural amnesty.’ It’s Terg shaka.” Gae grumbled and tossed her head to the side.

“No, that’s exactly what you’re saying, your simplifying what is clearly a complex and intricate issue. It’s extremely callow of you to try to put the blame on any one person, place or thing. It’s the system in general, not the individual that has to change,” Yamma said, speaking more with his hands and his facial expressions than by tone of voice. But what he didn’t imply with his tone, he more than suggested with his eyes.

“Yamma, you’re not listening to me.” Gae said calmly.

“I am, you’re just not making any sense.” Yamanu said dismissively and looked away with a tisk and a roll of his eyes.

Gae was silent, but stared daggers through Yamanu. Before Yamma could mend his mistake however, Gae quickly stood up and with a huff turned and stormed out of the room.

“Oh, gok’ma…I didn’t mean….” Yamma sighed.

“Don’t you gok’ma me!” Gae spat on her way down the hall.

Aehzay, who had been helping Lezah make the tea came up behind Yamanu and loomed over him with a smirk on her face. “Smooth move, Yammers,” Aehzay grinned.

“Hush and help me down off the table,” Yamanu grumbled as he walked towards Aehzay who offered her hand with a condescending grin.

“You sure you want to go after her so soon?” Aehzay asked as she set Yamma down by her feet.

“I’d be a fool not to, the only thing worse than foot-in-mouth is to let her stew on it.” Yamma took a deep breath and grimaced.

“Good luck.” Zhay winked and stood.

“Thanks.” Yamma shook his head and jogged after Gae.

Aehzay watched Yamma make his way to the wall and then run up the hallway along the floor board, where it was agreed would be the safest place for him and any other humans to travel when they were on their own. Once he was out of sight she made her way back to Lezah.

“Can you believe those two?” Zhay said with a shake of her head.

“Hmmm,” was all Lezah said in reply.

“’Hmmm’ what? I know that look! You’re thinking of something, aren’t you? Aren’t you!?” Aehzay eyed Lezah suspiciously.

“Never mind.” Lezah said, turning back to the tea.

“No, tell me. What…you don’t think either of them are right, do you?” Aehzay asked with a prying tone.

“You don’t want to hear what I think Zhay, so let it go, m’kay?” Lezah sighed as she dropped a few dollops of sticky syrup into the tea, syrup cultivated from the sap of the sweet-pine trees on the fringe of their lands.

Aehzay was silent for a few moments as she watched her sister move about, it took Zhay a few moments to piece together what Lezah was implying, but once she did Aehzay spoke up and stood in front of Lezah, blocking her path.

“What are you suggesting?” Aehzay took up a defiant but still docile tone with her elder sister.

Lezah took a long hard look at Aehzah and then in her best diplomatic tone Lezah replied. “I just think none of this would have happened had you and Bedra been watching them like we agreed upon.” Lezah turned to finish arranging the tea on the trey.

“Are you suggesting this is all my fault?” Aehzay said with an indignant air.

“If you and Bedra, had been paying attention to Darren, Tapp and Degu like you both said you would, then nobody would have been able to abduct them,” Lezah repeated as she stirred each cup of tea.

“What about Tapp who decided to wander off on her own? Or the maggot-head who took them in the first place, or the disgusting mantid who shot them all full of venom, or the gorram people who ate them?!” Aehzay shouted to Lezah.

Lezah closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “None of them told me and Eyrn they would look after Darren, Tapp and Degu while we were gone Zhay.” Lezah’s voice was low and thick.

“I can’t believe you’re trying to throw all the blame on me?!” Aehzay spat.

“I told you to let it go, didn’t I?” Lezah huffed as she roughly tossed the spoon onto the counter top and turned around to face Aehzay quickly.

“What about Aisell, hmmm? If I recall she was there too when you and Eyrn went for a swim!” Aehzay defended.

“Don’t you put this on her, don’t you do it! Zhay she has enough guilt to deal with as it is!” Lezah stated sharply and rose her voice abruptly.

“Oh, does she? Because of her precious Luke? How long are you going to let her use that as an out, hmmm? Aisell was just as responsible for them as any of us were!” Aehzay narrowed her eyes and jabbed Lezah in the chest with her finger in a pointing motion. “Yourself included!”

“I asked you to look after them! Not Aisell, you! If you were going to flip it off, like you do everything else I ever ask you to do, you may have told me!” Lezah swatted Aehzay’s finger away and stepped up in her younger sister’s face.

“Oh, that’s right! Lezah does everything we do nothing! Always a martyr right? The weight of the world is on your gorram shoulder and nobody else does a thing to help you!” Aehzay stepped right back at Lezah.

“Maybe if you lifted a finger to help out, instead of letting everyone else pick up the slack, or, oh, I don’t know, take responsibility for your mistakes for a change, everyone else wouldn’t have to cover for you all the time!?” Lezah’s voice grew increasingly more emotional and weighted, as did her expression. She was not good for these kind of conversations, Lezah generally avoided such.

Aehzay was about to bring up another point, with no shortage of fury, when both her and Lezah heard the distinct sound of Aisell clearing her throat.

Both sisters looked to the doorway to meet the gaze of a very perturbed Aisell. Living up to her tribal title, Aisell’s icy blue eyes froze both Lezah and Aehzay in their tracks, her lips curled into a disapproving frown and her lips pressed thin.

“Will you two shut up?” Aisell spoke with surprising calm. She had passed Gae and Yamma’s room where they were bickering in the relative privacy of their room, but Aehzay and Lezah were right out in the open, with in earshot of Darren and Eyrn even.

“They can hear you, you know.” Aisell tore through the kitchen with long angry strides, passing both sisters without another look, she head straight into the living room where Darren and Eyrn were both sitting still and quiet, having easily overheard everything Aehzay and Lezah had been shouting.

Eyrn locked eyed with Aisell and opened her mouth to speak, she wasn’t sure what she was going to say exactly, but she felt she had to say something.

“I’m sorry about that, it’s been tense around here lately. Lez’ has a lot on her mind, and Zhay is Zhay.” Aisell said apologetically as she crossed the gap between her and Eyrn.

“No, it’s okay. I understand,” Eyrn said softly.

“Everyone wants to place the blame somewhere, it makes people feel better if they can find someone specific to blame,” Aisell smiled softly to Eyrn, then looked down to Darren who was standing on the center table still. “Darren, sorry you had to hear that.” Aisell crouched down to Darren’s level.

Darren shook his head. “Don’t matter,” he said in a low haunting voice.

“It’s all Lyroo’s fault is what it is,” Eyrn grumbled, she was still caught up on that hook, having tried and failed to get more than two words out of Darren.

“Eyrn, I know she’s a terrible person and I’m not going to defend her but….”

“No.” Darren spoke up, louder than he had since he arrived home.

Both Aisell and Eyrn turned to face Darren, a shared look of shock on their faces.

“No, it’s not her fault, it’s not Keeran’s fault, it’s not Tapp’s fault, it’s not your sisters’ fault, it’s her fault.” Darren looked to Eyrn at last, for the first time since they had been separated.

Aisell was taken aback and remained speechless. While Eyrn had to do a double take, both looked at Darren in abject confusion.

“What are you talking about?” Aisell spoke up at last.

“If I hadn’t taken that dang job, if I hadn’t been wrapped up in this mess, if you wouldn’t of taken us here…none of this woulda happened. I wouldn’t know about any of this, I wouldn’t know that everything we’ve ever fought for, accomplished, everything humanity has bled for, every bullet, every drop of blood shed…was all for nothing. if you hadn’t taken us here, none of this would have ever happened,” Darren said, with a flat, tired and exhausted tone.

Eyrn reacted as if she had taken a knife to the gut. She gasped for air, struggled to say something, but only faint breathless squeaks came out. She shook her head quickly and took a few steps backwards away from Darren.

“Darren!” Aisell scolded, showing the first signs of actual anger she had since she slapped Lyroo.

“I…I’m sorry” Eyrn whispered.

Darren shrugged and looked away from them both. “It don’t matter,” He said softly.

“Eyrn…he doesn’t mean that, he can’t. He’s not right, he’s just confused…angry…he’s just lashing out. Aren’t you Darren?” Aisell waited, but Darren said nothing. “Aren’t you, Darren!?”

Darren shrugged.

“No,” Eyrn swallowed hard and nodded her head with her eyes closed tight, “he’s right.” Eyrn opened her eyes and forced herself to look at Darren and Aisell.

“No, Eyrn he isn’t!” Aisell said quickly.

“They all are, the courts, Darren…Lyroo…I was irresponsible…the people I care for were put in danger, taken from their lives because of me. Thrown into this…because of me.” Eyrn nodded a few times as if to convince herself she was simply being honest.

Aisell looked wide eyed to Darren and then Eyrn, then back to Darren. “Darren, say something to her!” Aisell commanded.

Darren didn’t respond.

Eyrn choked back her tears and sniffled back hard. “I’m sorry Sarge, I let you down…I did this to you…I’m sorry.” Eyrn whispered as she backed up a little more.

“Don’t matter, not anymore,” Darren muttered.

“Darren!” Aisell shouted.

“I’m sorry Aisell…I shouldn’t even be here…I’m not allowed to be around him remember? I should go…I…I shouldn’t have come.” Eyrn turned away from Aisell before the wave of emotion threatened to overcome her.

“No, stay…Eyrn we can work this out…listen he doesn’t know what he’s saying…I know it hurts but none of it is true. Please, don’t go.” Aisell pleaded.

“I’m sorry, both of you…I’m sorry…” Eyrn shook her head and turned, heading right for the door.

Aisell looked to Eyrn and then Darren, approaching Darren and motioning to Eyrn. “Are you just going to let her leave? Darren wake up!”

Darren shrugged. “She…she’s better off without me.” Darren looked to Aisell and then turned to look off into the distance.

Aisell heard the sound of the door open and close, and Eyrn was gone.

“Shaka!” Aisell cursed and flopped down onto her rear, bringing her knees up to her chest.

“She’s better off without me,” Darren repeated. “She don’t need me, never did.” Darren sighed.

Aisell said nothing, she simply watched the scene play out like a shuttle crash. She wanted to stop Eyrn, she wanted to slap Darren but mostly she wanted to pull her hair out and scream. Rather than any of that, Aisell Maris shook her head and grumbled. “Darren Avery, you bonehead! Do you have any idea what you just did!” Aisell didn’t wait for a response, as soon as the words left her lips she tore out of the house after Eyrn, she had to undo what Lyroo had done, because it wasn’t Master Sergeant Darren Avery speaking, it was Lyroo Prenn, it was as simple as that.

***

“Ya ever make a mess of something so bad, that ya just didn’t have no hope too fixing it?” Darren spoke regretfully, looking up into the stars. “A mess so overwhelming and deep, it threatened to bury you?” Darren asked Pryvani, without looking to meet her gaze.

“Oh believe me my dear, I have made plenty of mistakes in my life. What’s more, I’ve inherited the mistakes of others and done my level best to make them worse. You really shouldn’t be too hard on yourself for what you said. It’s perfectly understandable that you weren’t yourself after such an ordeal. I’m sure Eyrn and the others understand that now,” Pryvani said in quite the solemn and somber tone.

“I wanted to take back every one of them words soon as they left my mouth. I wanted to tell her it was my fault, that it always had been. See, it wasn’t that I believed what I was saying, but I was so dang sulky and mopey and lost in myself, saying nothing seemed easier than fixing the mess I made. It just wasn’t in me…can ya believe it?” Darren shook his head and chuffed lightly at himself.

“Well, what’s in the past is in the past Darren. We can’t change that, only move forward and learn from our mistakes.” Pryvani responded with every bit of poise and composure as she had previous.

“The things I said to her, damn…just…damn.” Darren insisted on tormenting himself over it, despite Pryvani’s attempt to assure him he needn’t.

Pryvani simply shrugged this time and continued to snap off a few blades of grass by twirling them with her finger.

“Nothing gets under your skin eh? Nothing fazes you, ya don’t get mad often, do ya?” Darren chuckled, finding himself suddenly bombarded under a heavy rain of pulled grass.

“I like to think I’m mortal, like everyone else.” Pryvani said with a bit of a clever smile.

“Ya know how many people I’ve told that story to? Every one of them either screamed at me or slapped me silly,” Darren pointed out with amusement.

Pryvani raised a brow and looked down to Darren. “Would it make you feel better if I slapped you?” Asked Pryvani, in a tone that Darren couldn’t quite be sure was sarcastic or not.

“No thank you ma’am.” Darren said quickly.

“Alright then, so, what happened next?” Pryvani asked, as she did so she turned about onto her belly with a fluid quick motion that caused Darren to back up just a little. It didn’t matter how used to it he was, Titans were damn big.

“Right, back to the story.”

44 comments

  1. Carycomic says:

    Actually, Angusta, I think Darren was blaming everyone…including himself! After all, he did say “If I hadn’t taken that job” (meaning NCO in charge of guarding Eryn). But, of course, that’s just his misguided way of saying there’s no one person at fault. There’s only been a chain of cumulative events that had a near-tragic confluence.

    If he had truly intended to be hurtful (PTSD or not), he would probably have blamed everything on Eryn’s parents. As in:

    “If Mr. and Mrs. Twat, Senior hadn’t crash-landed on Good Old Mother Earth, none o’ this would’ve happened!”

    But, he didn’t. He still had enough presence of mind to try and reapportion the “blame” (emphasis on sarcastic quotes), evenly.

  2. Per Angusta Ad Augusta says:

    Solid chapter, little annoyed Darren blamed Eryn which we never got that he was thinking that while imprisoned (same as he was also last we checked still resisting Lyroo’s teachings just quietly and with silent rage and suddenly now hes broken) and it seems kinda out of the blue for the sake of unnecessary drama. Everyone’s on edge and emotions are running raw though and that creates for some interesting times for sure. Loved how Eryn tried to get back the person she knows, and so sad at how distraught she is. I have an inkling I know how he will get some of his confidence back (can you Nomad rescue mission!).

    Wanna note something said at the end before switching to Pryv, about her not needing him and never did. Isn’t there actually some truth to this? Granted she was initially distraught at losing him and probably thought about him constantly, but…umm…she didn’t need him at any point during his imprisonment. I mean seriously, all shes done for months apparently (no interviews, book writing, no job) is workout and find a normal routine in her world. She doesn’t face any hurdles that she needs him for, whether for advice or actually doing something. There’s never a “I knew I needed Darren (or a big brother) at that moment”. Having him back in her life doesn’t seem like a necessity for her, aka, she doesn’t need him. It’s like if a long time friend of mine moved back to our home town. Sure its great, I’m overjoyed to see them and I look forward to being around that person, but I don’t need them to function or live, or well for anything. If they had long been a confidant, a person I could not only trust but depend on and I felt alone and isolated without them definitley. But we didn’t get that moment with her AND she had others fill in the support role (Aisell, Yamma, Bedra, Tapp, Aezhay, Lezah). Again I find myself agreeing with that statement even though I know that’s not the author’s intention, which bothers me to be on the wrong side of the author.

    • faeriehunter says:

      Why do you think that Eyrn not needing Darren is against the author’s intention? Even back at the nightclub Darren was questioning his decision to stay with Eyrn, thinking that Bedra and Aisell could have handled Eyrn well enough without him, that none of them actually needed his help. And at the beginning of chapter 43 of Titan: Nomad Eyrn was thinking that in the Empire Darren couldn’t protect her, that she’d have to protect him (and humans in general) now. The truth is that when Darren decided to stay with Eyrn back when they were aboard the Gyfjon he barely knew anything about the Empire and had just heard that Eyrn had reacted badly and was now sedated. Couple this with Eyrn having been his ward on Earth, and Darren’s decision was very understandable, but in hindsight based on mistaken assumptions. Eyrn is a responsible adult and therefore adjusted to her new life well enough without Darren’s help. And humans in the Empire are much more vulnerable than Darren realized.

      Also, disagreeing with the authors is hardly a crime. If you can support your opinion well enough, then by all means let them know what bothers you. That way they can explain why they disagree with you. Or maybe they won’t; they’re only human, they can make mistakes too. Not to mention that they’ve been known to disagree with each other as well.

      • Per Angusta Ad Augusta says:

        Well its been mentioned alot that she not only respects him and thinks of him as an older brother, but that she needed him. Not talking physically, meant emotionally and mentally. In real life many people rely very heavily on others for that kind of help. Their loss can be extremely damaging or at the very least difficult as the person is exposed without their counsel, advice, understanding, and even mere presence. Those people are needed. Darren’s gone for months and after that initial splurge of rage and depression she just moves on, thinking about him but never struggling without him.

        Regardless of his foolhardy choice to come at all, what was very clearly stated and implied by both is the two shared a very close bond and that she depended on him heavily. Where’s the evidence of that when he’s gone? Not much, and thats why his statement is correct and makes the story more perplexing. How do you reconcile with that? “Yeah I guess I really didn’t need you, must have imagined that intense bond and you were just a friend”? It makes the entire purpose of him coming along completely moot, he said she needed him, she acknowledged later she needed him, now when he’s gone it turns out she doesn’t need him. Gives him yet another reason to be down and its actually right and Aisell is wrong to think its Lyroo talking. Darren has seen the truth and looking into that abyss without even being needed by the person supposedly closest to you would and SHOULD break him. Which just upsets me more especially since people are going to be upset at him for realizing all these truths and acting like a rational being in response.

        Idea: He should be volunteering from Pryv to be launched towards Earth in an old timey lander and pray the Gryfjon misses him lol. (Also steal the antimatter bomb equations from Niall so Earth ships have them in 2100 or w/e, Live Free or Die!)

        • faeriehunter says:

          It’s not that Darren and Eyrn’s bond was imagined, but rather that circumstances changed. When they were both back on Earth she did need him, for it was his responsibility to take care of her well-being as a ward of the army. Then she and Darren were suddenly taken away, and now Eyrn lives with her peers and is no longer dependent on Darren’s help. Darren reminds me of a father whose daughter left the nest and who is slowly coming to realize that his little girl is now all grown up and doesn’t need him the way she used to anymore.

          I’m also not sure if Eyrn had actually moved on or was simply keeping herself busy with the daily grind. She was going to look through the missing persons database with the intent of finding out more about her ancestry, but that plan seems to have been put on ice. Unless it happened offscreen, but I doubt that. Nor have I seen her do anything else related to a long-term goal.

          Finally, I wouldn’t say that Darren is acting like a rational being right now. Just because Eyrn no longer needs him doesn’t mean he’s useless like he seems to be thinking right now. And it definitely doesn’t mean that Eyrn is better off without him.

          • Dann says:

            Interesting points, but I won’t give away the direction I am heading with it that easily. Either of you may be right, you’ll have to read to find out.

  3. Nitestarr says:

    I think Darren needs time to recuperate and recover. To convalesce from all of his traumas. He certainly needs it…Like a vacation in the country…yeah thats the ticket…….

    • Dann says:

      A country vacation for the Sarg? You do realize the Maris farm is not the most RELAXING place in Archavia right?

      • Nitestarr says:

        Well now ya just gotta use some imagination……

        Darren could;

        – Basically chillax, trade recipes with Lezah…even help her balance the books

        – Gather glowberrys.. try his hand at making pie…or wine depending on his mood…(or moonshine?)

        – Find a wild shaar tame it and ride that puppy round’ the homestead..

        – Spy on the Prenns – see what those scoundrels are up to…

        – Begin to pen his long awaited manifesto (biography?) tentatively titled; “My Life With Crazy Giant Peoples”

        – Go Tupp hunting…not to be confused with tubthumping…..

        – Start working on his sincere and heartfelt apology to Eyrn…

  4. Kusanagi says:

    Man that was a hard chapter to read. When I saw the title I just assumed one or two of the characters would react but everyone (even Lezah!) was raw and on edge. Everyone looking for someone to blame, when just about everyone can take a share of it (well except Gae and Yamma but they were more focused on big picture factors).

    I get the sense that the next few chapters are set between Nomad chapter 44 (where the Tribe notices Darren) and chapter 47 (where Aisell is waving goodbye to ‘someone’ and Darren is now absent.) which means that Eryn and Darren may have some extended time apart. During those chapters Aisell went on her Tolbot trip, maybe perhaps hopefully, it will be a break in what has been a constant ordeal for Darren since the feast. Though I could be wrong.

    • Dann says:

      It was hard to read, and it was hard to write. I had to take many breaks.

      Also, you are correct mostly about the timeline. Yes, I know it is confusing.

  5. faeriehunter says:

    Darren, you fool!

    *sigh* I suppose we all have at least one moment in our lives where we do something so monumentally stupid that we spend the rest of our lives wondering what the hell possessed us back then.

    Where to place blame? Well, that question rarely has any easy answer, and Darren’s ordeal is no different. Do we blame Aisell for getting into a dangerous fight for no good reason while inebriated? Do we blame Bedra and Aizhey for leaving the humans alone because they were worried about Aisell? Do we blame Tapp for wandering off alone into the unknown? Do we blame the maggothead for snatching her and Darren as if they were rodents? Do we blame the insectoids for treating humans as food? Do we blame a bureaucracy that never had to deal with a human killing a titan for labeling Darren a menace to be euthanized? Do we blame Lyroo for wanting to take Darren from Eyrn out of a misguided conviction that it’d be in his best interests? Do we blame Eyrn for losing her cool in front of that judge, giving Lyroo her chance? Do we… well, you get the idea.

  6. riczar says:

    aaannnd Luke and Quendra walk in. Now everyone can be mad at Gae. Really rough chapter to read. Didn’t another human have therapy? Because Darren’s going to need it. If he can get himself back together before Luke shows up, he might be useful for a special op. I think Pryvani wants to recruit him for Avalon. Help the humans develop a strong police force to prevent future problems. Matchmaker: Will Aisell ever find a human of her own (please let it be so)? I was thinking Darren and Tapp, but that’s a tough one and there’s Bedra’s human in the mix. I’m suprised Eyrn has never explored her sexuality in the entire time she was on Earth. Human or Titan for her? Keep up the good writing!

    • Soatari says:

      Maybe Kiri can get some more practice with treating humans. Both Darren and Alex are needing some help now.

      • Dann says:

        Eyrn? Explore her sexuality? What, do you think this is a fetish story or something 😛

        Also, a return of Kiri eh? You don’t think I’d use the same escape as Titan do you?

  7. Nitestarr says:

    Wow Pryvani must really enjoy verrry long stories cuz this one’s a whopper…The amazing thing is that she can relate…

  8. Nitestarr says:

    Well we can call this the ‘foot in mouth chapter’..Must have been an Archavian full moon that day…Everyone’s yelling and biting at each other..eh……Oh well..I’ll just say that Darren’s not himself. I hope he can patch things up with Eyrn…

    • faeriehunter says:

      What’s happening doesn’t need a mystical cause. Rather, what’s going on here is that everyone is upset because of Darren’s behaviour. As a result they (and that includes Darren himself) are not guarding their tongues as carefully as usual, causing criticisms that are otherwise kept buried to bubble up to the surface.

      • Nitestarr says:

        faeriehunter – thats an American expression for people behaving irrationally, seemingly all at once..I think everyone is going to regret what they said today and its understandable..All these emotions were kept bottled up since the Rutger massacre and then Darren (the epicenter) comes in the picture – and…. whoooosh…….BOOM!

        The sad ironic thing is that its no one’s fault. Oh sure people can point fingers at each other for not being watchful or vigilant enough etc..But remember that club was touted as being ‘human friendly’ so Bedra and Aeshzay (I’ll call her Ashley..I’m sure she won’t mind..) assumed that they would be safe and left them alone for a little bit.. Tapp ran off because she was upset at being left alone….no one knew about the feasts…

        I really hope that Darren and Eyrn can fix things up..It would kill me if they weren’t friends anymore..That was a great dynamic

      • Dann says:

        A combustion if you will *grin* of all the stress that has been building up, BOOM! Everyone has a breaking point.

  9. KazumaR1 says:

    Darren only has himself to blame. He decided to go to an alien world where his people are treated like a sub species and didn’t stop to realize what he was getting into.

    The Titans only have their shitty culture to blame. Lyroo Penn’s views and her actions are based on how Titans view humans and treat humans, the feast happened because of how Titans view and treat humans.

    • TheSilentOne says:

      Even to Titans that feast was illegal. Titans may treat humans as pets, but as a society, they don’t treat them as either livestock or delicacies.

      As far as Darren, he never decided to visit the Titans, he only decided to stay. Whether that amounts to the same thing I guess is a matter of opinion, and yes he had the option to return home after being abducted. I would say that’s not his usual character though. I think he had a pretty good idea of what he was up against before he made his first life changing decision, and the rest was a matter of friendship and survival in essentially a no-win situation.

      • KazumaR1 says:

        Since humans aren’t seen as people, it’s easier to rationalize doing immoral unethical things to them. Lert did that very thing when Lyroo discovered he ate humans. Titan society has been treating humans as slaves for nearly 1000 years. You can’t really point fingers at any one person, It’s a systemic problem of Titan society that has to be taken apart by the root. I guess only Yamma saw that in this chapter.

        I’m not going to argue about Darren. He really has no one to blame but himself. He had no idea how bad his species were treated upon making his decision.

        • Dann says:

          Well yea, you may be right, but hell have a little sympathy. He is hardly the first person to act with out thinking clearly first.

      • Nostory says:

        Its only hit him how bad after the Feast, how terrible things have gotten. Back when he made the decision he probably wasn’t too aware of it.

  10. sketch says:

    Oh Darren, what are you doing sarge? You know that’s not true, especially when you choose to stay with her.

    Well a few arguments started and he hasn’t said much. They are all blaming others, what will they think when they hear what he said to Eyrn? I hope one of the people who slapped him after hearing what he said was Tapp, after she kisses him, and then slapped him again. Does he even know Tapp is alive? Did anyone think to tell him? I’m surprised he knows Keeran’s name.

    After he gets back to normal, I’d be interested to see a discussion between him and Yamma over human pets.

    • Dann says:

      Well, its not as if that discussion hasn’t been had many times over. Who knows what Darren’s point of view will be once he has had some time to calm down and recover?

      • sketch says:

        True, but I don’t think we’ve ever had someone fail to change minds as badly as Darren did with Scroof and his owner. He’s maybe feeling it’s a lost cause while Yamma is full of optimism.

        • Per Angusta Ad Augusta says:

          He’s right though, Yamma’s the fool. Everyone he’s known has died. Everything Darren knew is now destroyed. His only hope is for humanity to exceed Titans, but thats beyond his lifetime if at all. Yamma arguing about underlying causes lol, he’s nearly as ignorant as Norah was when first introduced. Darren realized the truth, let’s not demean his understanding. Naivete gets no one anywhere. Harsh truths, cutting reality, either go the logical way or retreat to the world of security with a Titan protector, then where’s youre freedom!

          • KazumaR1 says:

            I think Darren was more depressed over humanity’s overall standing in the galaxy. That all our achievements aren’t worth anything and the only thing waiting for us in space is to be absorbed into the Titan empire. I think Yamma is only focused on humanity breaking free from the bonds of pethood and not what humanity’s future will be after that. At least that is what I got from this chapter and the last.

  11. gadgetmawombo says:

    That was, DREADFUL to read! As much as I wanna call Darren out for what he said, he just went through the seven layers of hell and back. From the near-death dinner to a brutal captivity where he was left for dead days on end, and finally to the slave/pet of a woman like Lyroo, all back-to-back!!

    And im sorry to say but Eryn does share some blame here, along with every named Titan character at the bar, and even Tapp!

    Its funny cuz the one with NO fault here, who only was dragged into a new world because he cared for a friend, who wanted to stop Tapp from leaving and being hurt on her own, the person who single-handedly saved heaps of humans, himself included and simultaneously exposed the Titans/Aliens responsible…THAT person is the one whos been getting the short end of the stick for a while now!

    Darrens the victim here, but lets just pile on yet ANOTHER load of shit onto his back by making him feel guilty for what he said for the rest of his life! Jeez, whens this guy gonna catch a break? Besides Isamu, hes gotta be the unluckiest main character human in the Titanverse!

    • KazumaR1 says:

      Darrens need to self-deprecate himself over this and over what he did to Keeran is such a frustrating character trait. Sometimes its endearing, other times it’s like…ugh. You’ve been through so much shit there is no need to pile on yourself.

        • KazumaR1 says:

          Despite what i say, I do have sympathy for Darren. It’s just frustrating he doesn’t have sympathy for himself.

          • Dann says:

            Wow, so apparently there is only so many times we can reply to a comment before it doesn’t allow that comment tree to continue.

            Well, It is VERY hard to comment on stuff like “what this character really means” with out getting into spoilers. You do have an interesting pov on Yamma in regards his outlook on humanity and its future. D.X knows exactly what this pov is even more so than I would.

            But I (as well as Yamma) do think Darren is wrong, just how wrong…well read on my friend, read on.

          • KazumaR1 says:

            Actually you can just reply to yourself when that happens. It still adds your post underneath the most recent post in the chain.

  12. Nostory says:

    Oh damn, everyone wants to blame someone but in the end….it might be better not to blame anyone but just move on…I hope Darren and Eyrn can patch things up.

    • TheSilentOne says:

      Considering the outer story with Pryvani (which I had totally forgetten about), it sounds like thinks are at least *better*. Aisell seems to be blaming Lyroo, that she was speaking through Darren, but I’m not sure I agreee with that at all. I shared his opinions for the most part about Human’s (on Earth in partciular) place in society. It’s a huge change in perspective whether there’s someone to blame for it or not. Not knowing of course doesn’t change the physical status of earth, though physocologically, I think most of the captured humans went through the same feelings as Darren at someone point

          • Soatari says:

            If you recall from Darren’s telling of the story of how they found Eyrn, the local native tribes revered them as benevolent beings.

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