(Small authors note here, been away on vacation for a while, sorry for the long wait. Hope to get this moving fast. I have the other three nipping at my heels to finish so they can work on stuff that happens after!)

“Eyrn! Eyrn slow down!” Shouted Aisell as she jogged to keep up with Eyrn, who fortunately had her bracelets back on after her shower.

Aisell did catch up, but was surprised with just how fast Eyrn could run with such a petite frame. Eyrn had already made it down the driveway and had begun to sprint down the long stone path that led back to the main road. When she heard Aisell’s voice she stopped and turned to face her. Eyrn was breathing heavily from the run, and her eyes were red from the strain of tears.

“Aisell, I’m sorry I came, I just made everyone upset. Darren was right, it was all my fault and I shouldn’t have come. If I hadn’t been irresponsible, if I hadn’t taken Darren and Izzy here in the first place everything would be ok, none of this would have happened to any of them!” Eyrn spouted off between gasps for air, running while crying was not recommended.

“Stop, just stop. Eyrn, listen to me.” Aisell said calmly and put her hands on Eyrn’s shoulder.

“I did this to them Aisell! I ruined their lives! Their families, their friends, their careers! Aisell I fucked them over!” Eyrn insisted in hysterics.

Aisell placed her hands on Eyrn’s cheeks and held her head steady. Gently Aisell placed herforehead to Eyrn’s and spoke calmly. “Shhh, calm down…breathe…just listen to me ok?” Aisell could feel Eyrn’s pulse racing and her heart tearing a hole through her chest. The tiny woman was a wreck, labored fast breathing and a hoarse, raspy voice.

“It’s all my fault Aisell, I ruined their lives. Aisell I did this to them! To Darren and Izzy. I stranded them in hell.” Eyrn whimpered, so upset she was trembling.

“Shhhh, calm down. Breath with me…deep in, deep out…come on.” Aisell kept Eyrn still and whispered in a soothing but sturdy voice.

“He was right Aisell, Darren was right!” Eyrn said, a little calmer, a little softer.

“You listen to me Eyrn Fitzgerald and you listen good. There is no point beating yourself up over mistakes of the past. What ever happened to bring you all to where you are already happened! It is in the past where it belongs. You are no good to yourself or others wallowing in guilt.” Aisell pulled back but held Eyrn’s head in her hands.

“But….”

“No buts! It’s in the past, it happened, it’s done!” Aisell said sternly.

“Aisell I….”

“It’s in the past, it happened, it’s done!” Aisell repeated.

“But if I hadn’t….”

“It’s in the past! It happened! It is done!” Aisell shouted once more.

Eyrn nodded meekly.

“Darren hates me.” Eyrn whispered regretfully.

“No he doesn’t.” Aisell affirmed, lifting Eyrn’s chin up to force them to look eye to eye.

“But he said….”

“Never mind what he said, Darren is depressed, he isn’t himself. He is going to say a lot of things he doesn’t mean. His filters are down, right now he needs people just be there for him while hefigures things out. Ok? Do you understand what I’m saying?” Aisell spoke softer now, more gently.

“What did that woman do to him? How did she break him like this? This isn’t Darren…I want Darren back.” Eyrn frowned.

“She took away his sense of identity, she took away his purpose, and he’s been thrown around ever since the massacre without a moment to catch his breath. His whole world was thrown upside down the moment you both arrived, and now he can’t even catch his breath without something else slapping him down.” Aisell said as she slowly let go of Eyrn’s face.

“I want to help him.” Eyrn said hopelessly.

“And we will, just like we have been.” Aisell confirmed with conviction.

Eyrn looked up, a sparkle of hope and a look of confusion on her face.

“Well you didn’t think I was going to let you go it alone, did you?” Aisell smiled.

“I just thought….”

“I’ve come with you this far, haven’t I?” Said Aisell with a clever grin.

Eyrn nodded. “You’re too good to me Aisell.” Eyrn said shyly.

“Nonsense, and besides it’s not just for you Eyrn, I’m also doing this for Darren.” Aisell said stoically.

“It just seems hopeless, nothing we do seems to work. We take one step forward and three steps back.” Eyrn sighed and looked down at her feet. “He doesn’t deserve this, any of this. Aisell he’s a good man, he took such good care of me on Earth, and all I’ve done is let him down from the moment we got here. I want to protect him like he did me, but I don’t know what to do. He…he’s the closest thing I have to family Aisell….”

Aisell was silent, how could she offer up advice when she had been unable to protect Luke herself? All of this felt so terribly similar to what had happened with Luke. Aisell felt unqualified to offer up advice, but felt driven to do so to the best of her ability.

“We don’t give up, that’s what we do.” Aisell said with purpose.

“It’s so hard to see him like this.” Eyrn said softly.

“He needs to find purpose in life again, I can’t give it to him, neither can you. Darren needs to know he is still in control of his own destiny, that he still has a reason to be.” Aisell said. It still hurt, thinking of Luke, how she had lied to him, betrayed him, forced her will onto him. perhaps if she had learnt something from what had happened, if she had come out of it wiser, all was not for naught.

“How do we do that?” Eyrn asked hopefully.

“I don’t know. I don’t think -we- can.” Aisell shrugged. “Darren has to, but we can help him along, encourage him to make choices and support him as best we can, right?” Aisell asked, looking to Eyrn for confirmation.

Eyrn nodded.

“I’d like to keep him here for a bit, the change of scenery might be good. Are you ok with that?” Aisell asked.

“If he is.” Eyrn nodded.

“I think he will be. Right now he is embarrassed to face you. He is used to looking after you, taking care of you. Now that you don’t need looking after, he likely feels lost and without purpose.” Aisell said thoughtfully.

“I still want him around, I don’t need a caretaker but I do need a friend.” Eyrn sounded quite concerned.

“Yes, but right now he needs a reason for living, he needs to feel useful. You were his reason before, taking care of you.” Aisell repeated.

Eyrn nodded. “See, it is all my fault.” Eyrn sulked.

“Enough of that.” Aisell dismissed and looked sharply to Eyrn. “Are you comfortable leaving him with me, do you trust me?” Aisell asked quickly.

“Of course.” Eyrn said in earnest.

“Ok. I want you to head back to Rutger and contact Loona Armac, she wants to hear from you. Do what you can to put her anxiety at ease and see if you can get hold of Dr. Niall Freeman, he is a human professor at Tannhauser Gate, do you remember?” Aisell asked, speaking slowly so Eyrn would catch every word.

“I do.” Eyrn nodded.

“I am very interested in his input on this, I should have approached him directly the last time rather than trying to work through his partner. Talk to Niall Freeman, see what he tells you and call me back. Ok?” Aisell pressed her lips together thoughtfully.

“Ok, call Loona, then Niall Freeman. Got it.”Eyrn nodded.

“Also, I want you to visit again in a few days, and bring Tapp, ok?” Aisell said as she brushed her hand over Eyrn’s cheek. “It’s gonna be ok, I haven’t let you down yet have I?”

Eyrn nodded, physical affection as simple as a touch to the cheek was something she was still unaccustomed to, it made her shiver just a little, but felt soothing and calming.

“I’ll take care of him as if he was my own flesh and blood, this I swear.” Said Aisell with assurance.

“Are you sure this is ok? I feel so bad for dumping everything on you, I feel like I should be doing something. Darren is my friend, I….”

“It’s no bother, I want to. Now, do you want to come inside, have a rest? Did you want something to eat? You don’t have to go you know.” Aisell said as she rest her hand on Eyrn’s shoulder.

Archavian culture was very sentimental and emotional, there was lots of touching and affectionate, platonic physical contact, it was something Eyrn had to get used to, but was far from bothered by.

“I, just need to be alone with my thoughts.” Eyrn said, looking down at her feet.

“Are you sure?” Aisell said with concern.

“Mmhmm.” Eyrn looked up with a trying and exhausted smile. “I will be ok, I’ll call you tomorrow after I talk to Loona and Dr. Freeman, ok?” Eyrn said, with deep controlled breathing.

“Ok.” Aisell said hesitantly, and without giving the tiny titan a chance to protest, Aisell pulled Eyrn into a hug.

“Ooop….” Eyrn gasped, but then hugged Aisell back. “Take care of him, please?” Eyrn whispered.

“Hey, don’t even worry about it alright? Like my own flesh and blood, remember?” Aisell said with confidence.

Aisell seemed confident on the outside, but deep within she could only think of Luke Palmer and how she had let him down so terribly. She couldn’t afford to make the same mistakes with Darren, and though it might not make up for mistakes of the past, she felt truly in her heart that she had been given a chance at redemption, this time she would do it right, somehow.

***

Eyrn sat lifeless in the low blue hammock like chair that sat on her apartment balcony. The evening breeze was cool and refreshing, something she had spent most of her life living without, as the air in the Nevada Desert was dry and stale. It was an oppressive heat that seemed to suck the moisture from your lungs and left your tongue feeling like cotton and sand paper.

Korrannatapestrina say on a small side table that was attached to Eyrn’s reclining patio chair, she was sprawled out on a small bean-bag like chair, sunk in as deep as she could go, looking either very comfortable or unable to move, either one was possible.

“Try this, you’ll like it.” Bedra Tae spoke up as the sliding patio door opened, the dark skinned titan stepped out onto the balcony wearing a long off white pair of silken pajama pants, a sleeveless shirt, and her auburn hair pinned back away from her eyes. She was carrying two platinum mercury like drinks that seemed not quite sure if they were liquids or solids. She sat one next to Eyrn, careful not to set it too close to Tapp, before taking a seat in her own reclining patio chair.

“What is it?” Eyrn asked lazily.

“Nerko Soda, spiked with Dratzi Locno.” Bedra smiled, taking a small sip and sitting back.

“Pretend I don’t know what any of that means.’ Eyrn said dryly.

“It’s pop with booze in it.” Tapp said with a frustrated sigh.

“Why not just call it that?” Eyrn said half-heartedly.

“Things have names here dear, you’ll learn them eventually.” Bedra said with an air of sarcasm, and took another drink.

“Can I have some?” Degu asked, poking out from Bedra’s untamed tangle of hair having been resting on her shoulder.

“Not a chance, this stuff is mostly Soda, and I don’t really want to peel you off the ceiling after your bender Dee.” Bedra rolled her eyes.

Eyrn looked at the drink half-heartedly and then looked back up at the city skyline.

“It’ll make you feel better, it always does.” Bedra smiled sympathetically.

“I doubt it.” Answered Eyrn plainly.

Bedra was quiet for a few moments as she looked over to the downcast Eyrn, with a soft sigh Bedra righted herself in her chair and leaned forward slightly, in a calm and comforting voice she spoke out to Eyrn, trying to make eye contact despite Eyrn’s hesitation. “Look, sweetie, you need to distance yourself from this for a while. It’s all you’ve thought about day in, day out since this whole mess began.” Bedra was quiet for a second to let those words sink in. “I know this hurts, and things do seem to be getting worse every time we think there gonna get better, but Darren is out of your reach now, as he was before. But this time he’s with someone we can trust. Aisell will figure this out, she always does.”

“Are you sure of that?” Eyrn asked, doubtfully.

“As I’ve ever been.” Bedra reached out and took hold of Degu, who was attempting to sneak a drink of her soda, setting him on the opposite end of her chair.

“I wish I could just let go, but I feel so responsible for all of this. I mean…Darren said it best…this really is all my fault Bedra. I can’t sleep at night knowing that I was the cause of it all. Maybe not directly, but somewhere down the line this all goes back to me.” Eyrn turned her head away from Bedra, slowly, deliberately. “And now I’m dumping my problem on somebody else’s lap, as if things were not bad enough.”

Bedra was at a loss for words and scrunched her lips in thought, she peaked over at Degu who had given up his covert mission to procure some contraband soda and was not trying to enjoy the cool evening breeze whole Eyrn and Bedra talked.

“I wish you weren’t so hard on yourself about this.” Bedra took her soda and sipped from it, setting it down once again. “I know it feels like you are abandoning him, but believe me when I tell you, I’ve known Aisell all my life, she will try her best so sort Darren out, and if she can’t…well we won’t give up. I don’t know exactly what brought you two together, or what threads lined up to bring you both here, but Darren still needs you, and you need him.” Bedra sat back in her chair and looked up at the darkening dusky sky. “Everything happens for a reason.” Bedra finished and allowed the silence to fill the air.

“That’s a silly thing to say.” Tapp spoke up, after some time in thought.

Nobody looked to her, but Bedra and Eyrn’s attention had been gained.

“Well, think about it…everything happens for a reason? Is that to say that out of every negative situation a little good can come? Or is that some sort of rhetorical terg-shit that is supposed to make somebody feel better when something horrible happens?” Tapp asked, with no shortage of ire in her voice.

“It means, out of every situation something can be learned. If we learn from our past we won’t repeat the same mistakes.” Bedra responded, calmly.

Tapp was quiet for a while. “I don’t like it.” Tapp spoke up, with confidence, which had been growing in her in the passing weeks, not anger or cruelty, but the confidence to speak what was on her mind, and not to feel apologetic for it either. “I think sometimes bad things just happen, and we don’t always have to make sense of it. There isn’t always an important lesson or a happy end. Sometimes bad stuff happens. Maybe it is Eyrn’s fault, maybe Darren won’t get better. Maybe we’ll always be pets…maybe this will happen again and again…maybe things will get worse?” Tapp went quiet, her own words silencing her.

“That’s not a very good thing to say.” Degu spoke up softly.

“It doesn’t have to be, not everything is good, and sometimes good doesn’t always come from bad. Sometimes bad stuff happens…the end.” Tapp shrugged.

“But sometimes we can learn from a bad experience, sometimes there is something to be taken from it too.” Bedra retorted.

“Maybe.” Tapp said. “But I don’t think this is one of those times.”

“Why not?” Bedra asked, curiously.

“Well, I think we’re all spending too much time trying to blame someone and make sense of this, when it may have just been a nonsensical horrendous thing…maybe the best thing for everyone to do is to just move on?” Tapp said, looking to Eyrn who was clearly taking everything that was being said to heart.

“Tapp….” Bedra began, but Eyrn interrupted.

“Do you think it was my fault Tapp?” Eyrn asked with a hard swallow.

“Partly, but then again it was also partly my fault. Aehzay and Bedra, you and Lezah…Aisell, Darren, Degu and myself…we all had a part to play in it didn’t we?” Tapp said as she sat up.

“What did I do?” Degu spoke up, abruptly.

“It doesn’t matter, none of it does really. It happened, it was horrible, and it’s over.” Tapp said, looking away.

“Heh.” Bedra sighed as she closed her eyes. “Hard to argue with that.”

“How was this all my fault?” Degu asked, ignoring Tapp.

“It’s hard to wash my hands of it, I mean…Darren needs me, I feel like I’m abandoning him.” Eyrn slumped back into her chair.

“There you go again with the need. Why does he need you? Why do you need him? He was right you know, you don’t need him…and you never really did.” Tapp spoke quickly with disdain.

“Tapp….” Bedra looked over disapprovingly.

“Well it’s true, and I don’t think he needs her either. Oh, maybe he needs someone, but why does it have to be her?” Tapp asked, looking up at the sky.

“But they’re friends.” Degu added, finally letting go of the previous conversation.

“Big deal, Eyrn can’t help him so he’s with somebody who can. That is who he needs, and as far as you needing him…well I think he was right. You don’t, he realized that…and maybe it’ll hurt for a while but he’ll get over it.” Tapp crossed her arms and closed her eyes.

Bedra opened her mouth, but closed it quickly; she looked to be in thought. Tapp had grown leaps and bounds since she had taken the path of independence. Sometimes, often actually it was difficult to argue with her logic.

“That sounds so cold.” Eyrn said sadly.

Bedra sat up in her chair, moving her glass nonchalantly away from Degu who had once more begun his quest for a stolen drink. “Well, she has a point.” Bedra spoke carefully as she looked to Eyrn.

“Guys, I can’t just….”

“Why not?” Tapp asked without moving.

“Darren is out of your circle of influence, at least for a time. Isn’t this the perfect chance to focus on yourself?” Bedra asked.

“But Darren…”

“Doesn’t need you.” Tapp affirmed with confidence.

“Doesn’t want you.” Bedra suggested, with a little more tact than Tapp of course.

Eyrn’s face flashed a look of pain and anxiety, which spurred Bedra to quickly reiterate her statement.

“Not right now at least.” Bedra smiled resourcefully and reached out to Eyrn with her eyes. “It’s embarrassing for him, it has to be the most difficult thing he’s ever had to do. Looking to you for help, when all he’s ever been is your minder and caretaker, now suddenly realizing you don’t need him, you’ve outgrown him, and in fact he is the one who needs you?” Bedra looked discreetly to Tapp, then to Degu and looked back to Eyrn. This hit a little closer to home than Bedra was willing to admit.

“He just wants a little bit of space I bet. You all can be damn well smothering at the best of times.” Tapp added, in her own off tone way.

“I like to be alone when I’m upset.” Degu added, while he didn’t appear to be following the conversation, he understood a whole lot more than he let on.

Eyrn looked between her friends on the balcony, then threw herself back onto her chair in defeat. “I can’t believe you’re all suggesting I just forget about Darren.” Eyrn whimpered softly.

“Nobody is suggesting that hon.” Bedra said softly.

“Urg, why is everything so touchy-feely with you guys? It’s not complicated, give the man room to breathe and when he’s ready, he will come back…if that’s what he wants. If not…well….” Tapp rolled her eyes in a bit of a swallowed gesture and settled back down.

“She’s right dear, you just need to give him room.” Bedra frowned. “Let Aisell handle it, do what she asked you to do…and focus on you for a while. You’ve done a lot for Darren, let someone else take it for a while?”

“That’s the thing, all I’ve done was turn his world upside down. I brought him here, I stole his future, I lost my temper at the hearing, I just keep fucking up…Aisell, Loona, hell even Lyroo fucking Prenn have helped, all I’ve done is weigh everyone down.” Eyrn sighed.

“Well,” Tapp spoke up, this time oddly quiet, with a hint of actual feeling, “maybe it’s all the more reason you step back and let someone else handle it? Maybe it’s out of your reach?”

“Maybe he will need your help later, something only you can do, no one else? Maybe?” Degu added.

Bedra looked down to Degu, also prying him away from her soda, then looked back to Eyrn. “There just may come a time he will need you, right now, he needs Aisell.”

Eyrn crossed her arms and looked away from her friends, her voice was hardly a whisper, but in it admission of surrender. “You all suck.” Eyrn chuffed.

***
Degu stepped out of the lavatory, naked as the day he was born, with nothing but a towel draped over his well-toned shoulders. His tightly braided hair was still dripping wet, his feet slapping against the anti-slip lavatory flooring.

Tapp cringed and turned away, she had been not so patiently waiting outside for her turn when her eyes came in direct visual contact with the naked man. “Gross! Honestly, can’t you put something on! Bad enough I have to share this hookley tower with you, seeing your equipment on a daily basis is too much!” Tapp hissed as Degu walked past, a winning grin on his face.

“I look good, enjoy the view.” Degu quipped, taking it slow and deliberate on his way past Tapp.

“I’ve seen skeet with bigger testis, you muscle bound keplar!” Tapp mocked as she pushed her way past Degu to the bathroom, slamming the door on her way in.

“I made you pants…use them!” Ordered Tapp from the other side of the door, the sound of running water drowning out much of her ire.

“Clothes are uncomfortable, clothes inside, clothes outside, clothes in the cleaning room, clothes when we eat. Ain’t comfortable! Never had to wear them before, don’t see why I should have to now.” Huffed Degu with crossed arms.

“Well wrap your towel around your waist so I don’t have to look at your…your…your you!” Tapp hissed.

“A body is beautiful, no shame in it. I’m fit, strong, and healthy! I’d make a good mate, my children would be strong and healthy, like my parents were, and their parents.” Degu defended, eyeing his well-toned arms and chest with pride.

Tapp was silent for a while, eventually speaking up. “I have no interest in letting you fill me with your…baby juice, if I wanted a mindless Lummox I’d have my pick of the litter! No thank you!” Tapp snapped through the closed door.

Degu laughed and shook his head, making a clicking sound with his tongue and cheek. “Always so mean, you make people feel bad, a know that?” Degu said brushing her insult off as always.

“Yea, well sometimes people need to hear it like it is. Too much pandering makes people dumb and ignorant.” Tapp defended as the running water began to make a splattering sound as she stepped into the stream.

“I’m sure Eyrn needed to be told off like that too eh, sure she really ‘preciated it.” Degu scoffed, as he ran the towel through his hair.

“What that girl needs is to stop whimpering and worrying about everyone else, and take care of her gorram self for a change.” Tapp insisted sharply.

“You were mean, just admit it.” Degu grinned.

“I was honest! Hells more honest than you and Bedra!” Tapp grumbled. “Heavens she doesn’t need more people rubbing her belly and telling her it’ll be ok. She’s a grown woman, not a kiefler.”

Degu made a whistle sound and chuckled audibly. “The ice queen, that’s what we should call you! Ice woman.” Chuffed Degu with sarcasm.

Tapp was quiet for a while, the sound of running water stopped and determined hard feet against a cold floor signaled Tapp’s approach. Degu was alarmed as the door swung open. Naked, angry and fiercely determined, Tapp stood before Degu, drilling her finger into his chest.

“Listen you, I wasn’t mean, icy or cruel I was honest! That’s the only mercy we are ever afforded and it’s the only mercy I can afford her! The world won’t coddle and hide them, and it shouldn’t us. It’s cold, cruel and terrible. Sometimes there are no special, happy endings, morals or lessons to be learned. Sometimes bad things happens, sometimes your friends turn their back on you, and sometimes you’re at the bottom of the food chain!” Tapp was full of fire, her pale face was flush red, and she was shouting, something she didn’t often do. “I did her a favor, which is more than any of you have been able to do. Maybe she messed up; maybe this is all her fault? Who knows, if it is then she has to deal with it! Coddling her and putting your finger in her mouth won’t make it any better!”

“Why are you always so angry? For someone who has a full belly and a soft bed you sure are a snurf!” Degu grumbled, looking down on the shorter woman with annoyance, so much in fact he hardly noticed her shapely nude form dripping wet.

“Let me tell you something about the world Degu, and you’d do well to listen fast! We are the small, the weak, the dross, people like us are here to amuse people like them. Bedra, Eyrn, the sisters, they’re a minority! So long as it fits them, so long as it’s easy, so long as nobody makes life hard for them, they’ll let us play house and humor us. But in the end, they are a small handful of powerless small people in an even bigger world. Their own problems are just as small and laughable as ours. Nobody will hand us anything, we have to fight one hundred times as hard to get half as much, nobody will coddle us, so why should we them? Eyrn learned a hard lesson, if she’s strong she’ll pick herself up and move on…and if not…well.” Tapp pushed past Degu, she wasn’t in any mood to finish her shower. “Well there’s always someone higher up the food chain to snatch you up.”