“You ever have a sore tooth Pryvani?” Darren asked calmly. At this point in their night he was sitting on her right shoulder as she sat in the back of her spacious private shuttle.

“I can’t say I have, we have very advanced dentistry…why do you ask?” Pryvani inquired, crossing her legs and sitting back in a large round silvery couch. Her hair had changed color from Green to deep ocean blue so gradually Darren had almost not even noticed.

“It hurts…a lot. It starts off not s’bad, but it gets worse, so bad you’d almost rather bash it out with a rock than go on with it.” Darren cringed from the memory.

“I see.” Pryvani frowned and touched her hand to her jaw, the phantom pain was enough, she didn’t actually need any more proof.

“That’s how I thought it’d feel,” Darren said, his ghostly expression obscured by her blue hair.

“But it wasn’t quite what you were expecting?” Pryvani asked softly.

“Not at all.” Darren replied quietly.

“What did it feel like?” Asked Pryvani, as the shuttles engines picked up just enough oomph to purr gently like a shaar.

“It…didn’t,” Darren said, after a long pause.

“Beg pardon?” asked Pryvani.

“That’s just it Pryvani…it didn’t…feel like anything. I didn’t feel anything. Not happy, not sad, not hopeful, not angry. It just felt like nothing…empty…a whole lot of quiet maddening nothing.

“Heh, it’s funny. Always thought it was one of them things people made up. If you could just be strong enough, be fast enough, smart enough,” Darren laughed wistfully. “Never figured it’d sneak up on me like that. Always thought I was better’n that.”

“It doesn’t matter how big, or how small, or how advanced a society you come from, the mind is a tricky thing. You know, we don’t really have a quick fix for depression either Darren.” Pryvani said, looking out the. Shuttle craft window as they began to break clear of the atmosphere.

“Heh.” Darren shook his head. It really was frightening, in retrospect, how awful it had been. How empty.

“Well, I’m glad you pulled through, because the universe would be short an incredible man had you not.” Pryvani looked over to Darren and smiled.

“Funny thing that, I don’t think I was ever in no real danger of taking my own life. Oh, ah won’t lie, the thought had occurred to me, even thought of a few quick ways to do it. But in the end, ah just couldn’t be bothered. That’s how expansive the nothingness was…ah couldn’t even be bothered the effort to kill ma damn self….”

“Couldn’t be bothered?” Pryvani asked for clarifications sake. Sometimes the translators just didn’t portray one’s thoughts accurately, and on occasion cultural colloquialisms didn’t come through as intended.

“I mean I didn’t have the gumption, the energy. It was too much effort. My own life was outside of my control, even the decision to live or die didn’t seem up to me. Couldn’t be bothered…it means ya just don’t got the energy.” Darren slid down the expansive arm to the red leather round chair Pryvani was sitting in, he easily leapt from the chair to the center table, where he began to pace around. Space travel made him a little queasy. Truthfully so did Airborne training; he’d been very happy not to have to jump out of a plane ever again after he finished.

“”I can’t even imagine…I’m sorry,” Responded Pryvani empetheticly.

“Eh, I’m here after all right, so ah mean it couldn’t a’been such a bad thing after all right? Naw, mostly stuff seemed to happen much faster than ah could process…it was kind’a like my feet were stuck in molasses.” Darren responded, scratching his chin to find a better way to word it.

“Molasses?” Asked Pryvani.

“Sticky brown cooking…stuff.” Darren chuckled.

“I see,” Pryvani said with a smirk.

“They were moving, talking, thinking, acting faster than I could process. It’s kinda like everything inside of ya shuts down, goes dormant. Yer kinda just on reserve mode, basic functions, simple answers. Yer not angry, but yer not happy. Yer nor sad, but ya ain’t laughing, yer not excited, but yer not really content either. Boredome I suppose is the only thing close to an actually feeling you can relate to it. Complete, boredom, apathy…emptiness.” Darren shrugged.

“How did you find your way out in the end?” Pryvani asked cautiously.

“Aisell, Lezah, Yammer, hell even Aezhay had her small part’n it.” Darren said, reminiscing almost fondly. “They’re a great bunch…really.”

“I can toast to that,” Pryvani chuckled as she reached over and took hold of a small think stemmed glass filled with purple liquid, it was glowing slightly, when she swiveled the glass it seemed to come to life, the glow intensified tenfold. Pryvani raised her glass and then took a small elegant sip, setting it down again.

Darren eyed his own small glass, which emulated Pryvani’s almost completely. Silently he took his glass, and took a drink, quickly spitting it out after.”Blegh…’s terrible.”

Pryvani Tarsus chuckled and rested her hand over her breast, “Darling, you have to swivel the glass first, it enhances the flavor you know.” Pryvani took her glass once more, and demonstrated what she meant.

Darren watched, then did the same, this time his expression was much less disgruntled. “Better.” Darren set his glass down. “Strange stuff….”

“You never answered my question though, how did you pull yourself out?” Pryvani inquired as she leaned back on her seat, the shuttlecraft’s interior lights turned on a bit brighter as the sunlight from the planets atmosphere was no longer so bright.

Darren almost laughed, he swiveled his drink once more then in true Texan style downed it in one grizzly gulp. His eyes nearly bulged, and he fought the urge to cough.

“Royal Berry malt is a lot stronger then you thought, hmmm?” Pryvani smiled knowingly.

“That stuff’ll put hair on yer chest.” Darren coughed. “Glowing purple hair I wager.” Chuckled Darren as he set the glass down. “But to get back to yer question, I don’t really remember a whole lot of what happened. Aisell took real fine care of me, and by that ah mean she did a whole lot of leaven me the hell alone. She was kind, spoke friendly like, made sure I knew when it was time to eat. But for the most part treated me like any ol’ guest. I stayed in her room, but it was s’damn big we may as well been in different houses.” Darren shook his head, the scale between the two species was sometimes unbelievable. The shuttle craft they were in, for instance, was easily bigger than a cruise liner…hell, it approached a small carrier.

“You should see the compound on Avalon,” Pryvani spoke with a none-too-shy grin; bashful she was not.

Darren nodded.

“Well, like ah was saying…can’t remember most of it. Time jus’ seemed to drag on, it’s hard to distinguish one thing from another, ya know? It’s like time just sorta meshed together. I had no interest in doing thing.”

“I’m sure you must have been a real pleasure to be around hmmm?” Pryvani suggested, attempting to lighten the mood.

“Naw, see ah wasn’t grumpy, jus’ like I wasn’t exactly happy. I just was sort of…there…ya know?” Darren shrugged, even now it wasn’t easy to talk about.

“I do, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have made jest,” Pryvani’s tone was a great deal more solemn now. She stood up as the turbulence from the shuttle’s departure had settled and took a short walk to the navigation array she had in her personal lounge. Pryvani pressed a few buttons and eyed some information on the screen as Darren slowly made his way to the other end of the table, so she could hear him better of course.

“We will arrive in two hours,” stated Pryvani calmly, then peeked back to Darren.

“Half way across the galaxy in a few hours…amazing…i’ll never get used to this.” Darren sighed with a bit of a smile.

“Tarron, do you mind taking the long route? I want you to proceed the following course, please.” Pryvani spoke into the computers communications array, then looked back to Darren with a clever look on her face. “Hardly half way across the galaxy. And in fact, much closer to your home than Archavia.” Pryvani walked over to Darren and sat in her chair once more. “Now, you were saying?” Pryvani began just as the communications system cut her off.

“Small correction to your course Boss. First, that takes us about seventy light years out of our way, and second, that takes us right through the Sperikos system, it’s a military no-fly zone. If we cut across….” Tarron began over the intercom only for Pryvani to cut him off.

“Its alright Taron, I have clearance, if you have any trouble, my credentials will clear that up,” Pryvani responded simply and looked to Darren with a confident smile.

“Well…all right then…no problem…” Taron responded, sounding hesitant.

“Nervous? Its not too much of a challenge to navigate for you, is it?” Pryvani asked, obviously teasing her pilot.

Taron grumbled and responded proudly. “Never, I can handle Sperikos!”

“Wonderful, let me know when we arrive, ok?” Pryvani sat back and crossed her arms.

“Got it.” Tarron responded before the com went silent.

Pryvani waited a few seconds just to be sure, then smiled down to Darren. “Please continue.”

“What’s at Spekio?” Darren asked casually.

“It’s Sperikos…and you’ll see…now please continue.”

***

Darren was only really half listening to the conversation happening around him. The words were floating through the air aimlessly it seemed, he only picked up on the odd bit here and there, whatever seemed to come his way.

Aisell was having a discussion about some sort of game with Lezah, while neither of them were angry, Aisell was quite passionate about what she was talking of. Lezah on the other hand was reserved and cautions which of course was one sure fire way to wind Aisell up.

Yamanu was there with them, sitting beside Darren on the table. Yamma was participating in the conversation as well, chatty and helpful as always; the man sometimes spoke like an encyclopedia for all the reading he did.

Lezah wore a simple pair of coveralls that were cut off at the knees, woolly grey socks and no signs of a tea shirt underneath. Surly she still had some sort of proper undergarments, but the muggy weather did not mix well with farm work, and the Elder Maris sister had no desire to bog herself down with excess clothes. Her long ginger hair was braided into one thick braid running down her back, and she wore a red and white bandanna over the top of her head and forehead. Lezah shuffled back and forth from the table to the kitchen, busing herself cleaning the breakfast dishes as she conversed with Aisell and Yamma.

Aisell wore a simple cut off pair of denim shorts, a small off white tee shirt, and a pair of sneakers, she was sitting back in her chair, with one foot resting on the cross bar that supported the table, and another tucked behind the leg of her chair. She had her shoulder length hair pinned back out of her eyes, and was idly munching on the stalk of some sort of root vegetable.

Despite having been given nearly everything that Lyroo Prenn had denied him of, Darren had still not returned to his old self since he had been on the farm. Aisell had been true to her word and took care of him as best she could. She seemed to learn a lot from her Luke experience. Aisell had a great deal more confidence, and respect to go with it. She didn’t smother Darren, she didn’t insist herself upon him. She simply let him be. She was there to talk if he needed her to be, she regarded him warmly and with concern, without being smothering.

Lezah, Aezhay and the others still approached the situation with a fair bit of awkwardness, none of them really knew quite how to deal with Darren.

Yamanu continued to attempt to challenge Darren on his pessimistic point of view, but more and more Darren became less interested in engaging in the futile back and forth between men.

Gae did her best to keep out of the way, often finding herself toung tied and lost for words when face to face with Darren.

Lezah was maternal and dotting as always, but was kept on a short leash by Aisell, aided by Aezhay, who for her part did an exemplary job of acting casual and non chalant around Darren. But even her laid back casual personality could only go so far, most of the time Darren blocked conversations with short breathless answers.

“So, how are you feeling today Darren, gonna come help me and Gae inventory the proon shipment?” Yamma asked, trying to sound chipper but not overly so.

“I’m fine.” Darren said softly, quietly, almost breathlessly. “No, no thanks.” Darren responded, then made eye contact briefly.

Yamma puffed his cheeks then shrugged, looking to Lezah who was making her way back to the table, Lezah returned the silent look with a small shrug and a downcast expression.

“How was breakfast? Did you like the porridge?” Lezah asked, as she began cleaning the table.

“It was fine…yeah…” Darren responded once more, silent, breathless, slow.

Lezah sent Aisell a look, then rubbed her sister’s shoulder and headed into the kitchen.

Darren could hear approaching footsteps, he looked up, quite delayed in fact, to find Gae, now out of her pajamas, strolling into the kitchen. A brown short sleeves shirt and a matching skirt, with black stocking and boots.

“Ready to start, Yam?” Gae asked as she bound over to the table.

“You bet!” Yamanu responded eagerly, almost leaping into Gae’s offered hand.

“You ask him?” Gae tried to whisper, which was not something she was good at.

Yamanu simply shook his head and motioned to the door.

Gae half smiled and waved slightly. “I hope you feel better soon Darren…” Gae instantly regretted her words, and could be heard bickering over them with Yamma as she left the room.

Aisell didn’t keep Darren confined to a terrarium, he wasn’t constantly checked on, babied or fussed over, and he was still expected to do most things for himself, as if he were any other guest. If he was hungry he had to come to the kitchen, if he needed something he had to ask. It was Aisell’s hope that some time to himself would do him good. Darren however had not found the transition from captivity to independence to be fluid and problem free, everything took effort, the simplest tasks seemed daunting. There was simply no excitement left in life, and the crushing weight of the guilt he carried only seemed to prevent him from climbing out of the hole he was in.

It had grown quiet in the dining room for a while, Aisell was the last to stand up to leave, Lezah had already made her way into the next room. Aisell folded her hands neatly in front of her and asked Darren quite off handily if he wished to be taken into the next room, Darren’s reply of course was shallow and short, like a grasped at word between gulps for air.

“No thanks.” Darren had not eaten much, but did not seem to want any more food either. Lezah of course tried to spur him on, eventually leaving him be with his plate for the time being.

Aisell eyed Darren for a few more moments, she shifted her weight to her other foot and stepped back half a step. “Gonna just sit inside all day then? Another day of moping and complaining?”

Darren wasn’t sure he wanted to answer; explaining to her why he didn’t feel like doing anything was far more work than he wanted currently. Not only was he not feeling up for ‘doing things’ mentally, physically his back hurt, his stomach was knotted and he had a near constant headache lately that never seemed to get much worse, or better for that matter.

“Darren, have you put any thought into what you want to do? Where you want to go?” Aisell asked, taking a calming breath.

What was there for him to do, where could he go? Aisell didn’t even have a clue! For her it was an endless universe with limitless possibilities, she could go where ever she liked, do what she wanted, become who she wanted to become. For him, all he could decide was which master he lived with, which cage he slept in, whose shadow he lived in.

“Nope.” Darren said at last, gathering the gumption to answer.

Aisell bit her tongue. It was all she could do to stop from saying anything else. Aezhay had pulled her aside a few days ago and suggested that Aisell lay off the speeches and pressure. Aisell was trying, but she too was under a lot of stress, and watching Darren deteriorate like he was made her angry. Not at Darren, but at the system and the people who put him where he was. It made Aisell want to lash out.

“Well, when you’ve figured it out, I’ll do whatever I can to make it happen.” Aisell paused, she knew better than to ask, but felt she should. “Did you want to give Eyrn a call? She’s been talking to some people in Tanhauser who really want to meet you. There’s a human Professor there who….”

“No.” Darren answered quickly, he looked to Aisell with what was likely the most expression he had given her in days.

Aisell nodded and bit her bottom lip. “Al lright.” Her voice did little to hide the concern in it. “I’m going to go get some work done, if you need anyone, my mobile is on the living room short-table. Okay?” Aisell asked hesitantly.

“Okay…” Darren paused, Aisell hadn’t yet moved so Darren felt he needed perhaps to add something else. “Thank you.” Darren spoke lifeless, and looked back off into the distance.

Aisell looked down at her feet, then looked up and smiled forcefully. “Okay, I’ll be back later then.” Aisell said as she walked off out of the room.

Darren was neither happy nor upset that he was now alone, a little relieved that he didn’t have to worry about answering any more questions, but he felt about the same as he did when the room was full. He was alone for another morning, likely most of the afternoon, alone to do absolutely nothing, alone to simply exist.

***

“Pup, what you need to do is calm down, you’re letting it get to you,” Lezah said as she righted herself and rested her hand against her back. It was far too hot and humid out to be detassling ovlo stalks, but farming seldom followed the whims and fancies of the farmer, and the task had to be done. Machinery was costly and sloppy with such a detailed and precise task, stripping the thin tassle off by hand was still the best way to do it, at least, that’s what traditionalists like Lezah believed.

“I am calm! Don’t tell me to be calm, if I wasn’t calm you’d know it, because I wouldn’t be calm, I’d be shouting!” Aisell shouted as she haphazardly tore half the top of an ovlo stalk off the plant.

“You can’t argue with that logic,” Aezhay said from half a row down.

“Easy Pup, you’re going to butcher half the yield,” Lezah said, carefully trying to withhold her own amusement.

“My name is Aisell, not Pup.” Aisell snapped, as she attempted to detassle another olvo, but failed.

“I don’t know why you keep doing this to your self Aisell,” Aezhay said as she tossed a small handful of tassles to the ground, she was by far the quickest, her height helped her reach the tops of the plant much quicker than Aisell or Lezah.

“Doing what to myself? I’m not doing anything!” Shouted Aisell, she had given up on the delicate task of olvo detassling and was not pacing back and forth along the thin row between Aezhay and Lezah.

“I….” Lezah began, but Aezhay cut her off.

“You know what I mean Aisell, you’re taking on everyone else’s problems.” Aezhay brushed her hand off on her pants and made her way further down the row.

Aisell felt like tearing a strip out of her sister, like putting up a fuss of all fusses, but she had other things on her mind, she wouldn’t allow this to distract her. As Aisell approached Aezhay, she stopped and in a rare moment of vulnerability she looked up to her younger sister with a desperate look. “I may have taken on too much here Zhay…I don’t know what to do.”

Aezhay smiled somewhat empathetically and continued to detassle as she moved down the line, slowing however a bit so she could converse with Aisell. “Aisell, I don’t think there is anything you can do, not really. I mean, not that you haven’t already done.”

Aisell took a few moments to digest what Aezhay had said then shook her head. “No, I reject that…there has to be more…there has to be something I can say, something I can do, some sort of tactic that will work. I can’t just give up….”

“Whoa, whoa…who said you were giving up? Hmmm?” Aezhay downright stopped and turned to face Aisell. “You’ve done so much, you deserve a gorram medal. You’ve practically been his champion, you and Loona, but mostly you. Aisell, I don’t know many who have the smarts to do what you did, the stones or the instinct. You’ve given him all you can, you have no reason to feel down.”

Aisell sighed and looked her sister in the eyes. “Then why do I feel like I’ve let everyone down?”

“Because you’re Aisell? Because you take on the world’s problems? Because you’re crazy?” Aezhay smiled and shook her head slightly. “Because you have a good heart?”

Aisell absorbed Aezhay’s words, they were kind but they didn’t do much to make her guilt go away.

“Zhay is right, you’ve done all you can. The rock is in Darren’s pot now,” Lezah broke in as she finally caught up to where the others were from the adjacent row.

“I guess.” Aisell spoke softly, they had a point, still admitting there was nothing she could do was not something Aisell Maris was capable of doing.

“Just give him time, be a friend, it’s the best you can do.” Aezhay said, from further down her row.

“Loona keeps calling, wants to know when she can meet with us, and shaka…I’ve all but abandoned Eyrn….”

“Eyrn is a grown woman, who is capable of looking after herself Aisell,” Lezah said softly.

“She has Bedra, and she’d call if she needed you.” Aezhay reminded them both.

“I guess.” Aisell admited. “But…I mean….”

“Just give him space…he will come to,” Lezah said as she began to move on.

“I just don’t want to make the same mistake I made before…with…Luke,” Aisell said quietly.

“Darren isn’t Luke, you did all you could then and you’re doing all you can now,” Lezah dismissed.

“Is that what this is about?” Aezhay stopped and looked back to Aisell.

“Hmm?” Aisell looked up.

“Aisell, is this some sort of…reconciliation? Some quest for absolution? You feel guilty for letting Lulke down so you’re going to ‘save’ Darren?” Aezhay narrowed her eyes a little.

Aisell was quiet, she looked down at her feet.

“That’s it, isn’t it?” Aezhay said, her voice alive with the sudden realization.

“I…I can’t let them both down…I’m not a terrible person…I’m not….” Aisell responded, looking up again, her eyes were strained but dry.

“Aisell,” Aezhay began, “the first step to helping Darren is helping yourself let go of Luke.” Aezhay frowned and then went on down the row. “You can’t help Darren by doing what you should have done with Luke. Darren is Darren, Luke was Luke. Don’t impose Luke’s problems onto Darren.”

Aisell watched Aezhay step away, she was left alone with her thoughts for a while as her sisters worked down their respective rows.

“If I want to help Darren…I need to help Darren.” Aisell mumbled to herself. If she wanted to put the soldier back in the man, she had to do it in a language Darren understood.

A grin stretched across Aisell’s face and she took off down the row, jogging down towards the house.

“You think she took any of that to heart?” Lezah asked her sister.

“Nope.” Aezhay sighed.

“Think she’ll do something foolish?” Lezah asked hopefully.

“Yup.” Aezhay sighed.