“It’s okay to be nervous.”

“I’m not nervous,” Rixie said, straightening her outfit for the ninth time. She was not wearing her uniform – she appreciated that Rajenlif had let her know that this was a semi-casual affair, and appreciated that Pryvani had taken her call to assure her that yes, she did have the right outfit for the occasion – but she couldn’t help but think she would be more comfortable in duty black. Not because it she loved wearing a uniform, but because at least there was nothing to second-guess.

“I wasn’t talking to you,” Alex said. “I was talking to myself. I’m meeting your dad for the first time. One of the best things about dating you was that I didn’t have to worry about your family hating me.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Rixie said, finally deciding that she wouldn’t be happy with her outfit no matter what she did, and feeling slightly better for having accepted it. “If Kullervo or his kids hate you, then this is going to be a very short night. Do you think I care what anyone thinks about you, other than me?”

“Hey, when I introduced you to Emily you were nervous too,” Alex said. “Of course, I didn’t know I was gonna introduce you to her, but you guys get along great.”

“It’s true, we do. And you’ll get along great with everyone else. Seriously, Alex, when have you ever had trouble talking with people?”

“Well, there was that time I had acute PTSD,” Alex said.

“You were having trouble dealing with monsters. Not people.”

“Not true. If you were a monster, you would never have helped me through it,” Alex said. “I know, I’ve thanked you for that, a lot, but….”

Rixie looked over at her husband, who was waiting on the bed. “And every time you have, I’ve told you that it was the least I could do. It was my failure at basic OpSec that let you get captured. And even if it wasn’t…I had to help you get better because nothing was more important that that. Can you imagine how miserable I’d be if you’d stayed in Atlantis, avoided Titans, married, I dunno, Lysis or something?”

“We both did pretty damn good, Rix. And you’re gonna do pretty damn good tonight.”

Alex walked over to a metal spheroid that was sitting on the bed, a small portal on its side irised open. It was perhaps baseball-sized to Rixie.

“You don’t have to use that, you know,” Rixie said. “You’re a human, and if they can’t deal with that….”

“It’s not about that,” Alex said. “I just know that Starry is gonna be a handful at times, and I don’t want Thyllia to have to be constantly corralling her. I’m her dad.”

“Still, didn’t you say you get a bit motion-sick in those?”

“Myona says they’ve improved reaction, so you don’t get that extra millisecond lag that was messing with me, though they’re still not practical for sale because of the power drain. If we go much beyond six hours I may have to shut down, so….”

“If you have to shut down, shut down. She’s my daughter too. And all of Kullervo’s kids have kids of their own, they’ll understand.”

“What about Aud? She doesn’t have kids”

Rixie shook her head. “I guess she hasn’t been told about me yet. She just got married to Sen. Aljansen, and is expecting a kid, and….”

“And she was a jerk to Ryan and Tee, so that’s good, wasn’t looking forward to pretending to be nice,” Alex said. “All right, here goes nothin’.”

Alex stepped through the portal, which closed behind him. A few moments later, the ball raised up and floated away from the bed, and lit up, drawing a hologram of Alex from the inside out.

“Well,” he said, taking a step forward and pausing, “the sync does seem better. Feels more like a holosuite than a ship in the middle of the ocean. So that’s good.”

Rixie walked over to the hologram of her husband, leaned down, and kissed his forehead. “I wouldn’t make it through without you, you know.”

“You’d get through this fine.”

“I’m not talking about this,” Rixie said. “I’m talking about everything.”

“Well, then,” Alex said. “Me too.”

There was quick knock at the door, and Rixie walked over to open it. Asteria burst into the room, paused, and ran up to Alex’s hologram.

“Big daddy!”

“Yes, Starry, I’m in big daddy mode tonight. So you’d better be really good!”

“I will. I be good for little daddy too. Cause you’re daddy.”

“I know you will. Now remember, you need to be really good tonight for your mommy. She’s meeting her daddy for the very first time.”

“You mommy’s daddy!” Asteria protested.

“Only sometimes,” Alex said, keeping his face perfectly straight. “On special occasions.”

“Okay,” Rixie said, “I take it all back, you’re a pain in the neck.”

“You wouldn’t want me any other way,” Alex said.

* * *

Aleks was a bit surprised when his pad chimed, but he was quick to answer it once he saw who was calling. It wasn’t like they could just ring him back.

“Hello,” he said.

A young officer in a Space Explorations Corps duty uniform was on the other end; after a pause, she said, “Hello. I have a personal call for Aleks Odusi.”

“I am he,” Aleks said; he knew the routine by now.

“Please be advised that this call is placed through Imperial Military channels and is monitored,” the woman said.

“They make you guys say that every time, huh?” Aleks said.

“And forty percent of the time, people ask me that question,” the woman said with a smirk.

“I suppose. Anyhow, I acknowledge that; I mean, even if I wanted my brother to spill military secrets, he wouldn’t, and I wouldn’t want him to.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” the officer said. “Stand by, I am connecting the call. Mr. Odusi? I am connecting the call.”

The woman disappeared, and a new officer appeared on the screen, wearing most of a regulation Imperial flight suit. “Aleks! How’s the real world?” he said.

“I’ll tell you when I get there; law school certainly isn’t it. How’s the pest control business?”

“Busy as Rixie’s on the weekend. But it’s going pretty well all things considered. Just picked up my first Flying Star, so that’s good.”

Aleks grinned. “Had to get the bragging in, didn’t ya? I thought they didn’t trust you in the pilot’s seat yet.”

“Not usually, but my pilot was sick, and gunners are relief pilots; of course, it helped that the relief gunner who took my seat was really good – he’s pilot-rated too. Actually, think I introduced you to him, you remember Loren Zopaal?”

“Think so. Isn’t he the one who grew up on Tribe Maris Farms?”

“That’s him. Anyhow, I can’t tell you any of the most interesting stories, but we’re having fun. How about you? You still dating the heiress?”

“Yeah,” Aleks said. “Of course, who knows how long that will last.”

“She getting tired of you that fast?”

Aleks rolled his eyes. “It’s not that. It’s…complicated, that’s all. Shouldn’t have gotten involved with an heiress, much less a Titan one. Mat and pat wouldn’t impress her family even if they were the right size.”

“Doesn’t seem to bother her.”

“No, it doesn’t, but…if we ever got serious, really serious…I know she’d end up having to choose between her family and me.”

Nik nodded. “And you’re worried she’ll choose her family.”

“No! No, that’s not it. I don’t want her…I don’t want her to have to cut out her family for me. That’s not fair. She’s not going to have trouble finding another guy. Or girl, for that matter.”

“Maj. Desrochers and Ms. Idisoko have been going through that same thing, or so I hear,” Nik said. “But from everything I know, Ms. Idisoko told him flat out that it’s him over her inheritance.”

“Yeah, but that guy…I mean, he saved her life, that Imperator’s life, the Tusolan ambassador…he’s a legit hero. I’m a law student.”

Nik smiled. “Yeah, well, most of us are gonna look like losers compared to Maj. Desrochers. But that’s not my point. My point is that you don’t want her to have to choose, but maybe she wants the chance to choose. Ms. Idisoko does. At least, that’s what Odtsetseg says, and she’s usually got the gossip right.”

“Well, that’s cool and all….”

“Al, you’re a human going to school on Archavia. I mean, frak, that makes the military look easy. At least here they’ve got bunks our size. And you didn’t have to end up with a giant rich girl – who’s both attractive and was nice as could be when we talked last. All that took a lot of bravery. Don’t wuss out now.”

Aleks chuckled. “I’m not brave, man. You’re brave. I can see the time warning; you stay safe. And send me the details on who you’re dating.”

“It’s still nobody, and I’m fine with that. Kinda hard to think long-term right now. And I can’t promise to stay safe, Al; not my job. But if I go out, I’ll take bugs with me.”

“If you do, you’d gorram better, Nik. But don’t make it your first plan.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Nik said. “I’m in no hurry to die.”

* * *

The room Rajenlif had selected for this gathering had doors on either side; outside those doors were two identical anterooms. It had originally been constructed to allow Jofurs and Dronungs to mediate disputes, to allow the two sides to gather themselves and enter simultaneously, but separately, so that nobody had the upper hand.

It still very occasionally served that particular purpose, but more often these days it was used for informal gatherings, with one anteroom used by guests and the other by the royal family. This allowed the Dronung to gracefully withdraw without being buttonholed in the lobby – which was otherwise a certainty.

In this case, she had Tiernan waiting in one anteroom, while she waited in another. Ordinarily, that duty would fall on servants, but this was a private family gathering. She received a signal, and nodded to her brother. “Go on in,” she said.

In the other anteroom, Tiernan waited for his wife’s return signal. When he received it, he turned to the woman who was pacing, and said, “All right, Rixie. Go ahead.”

Rixie swallowed hard. They had explained the choreography to her, and she agreed with it – she wanted to meet Kullervo before she had to meet her brother and sisters. (Her brother and sisters. Gods, her brother and sisters!) But now, she really wished that she had demanded that Alex accompany her. Even though she knew that Kullervo would want to meet his daughter before he met his son-in-law.

But Rixie was nothing if not brave. And so she steadied herself, forced a slight smile for the emperor, and walked through the door.

She walked a few steps in and heard the door close behind her. Across the room, an older man stood, frozen a bit in his tracks. He stared at her, looking her over. It wasn’t rudeness, though, nor was it judgmental. It was simply a man trying to comprehend his daughter, a daughter he had never known.

Kullervo was the first one to speak.

“I…know this is awkward,” he said. “I’m Kullervo. It’s…I’m very glad to finally meet you. You look a great deal like your mother,” he added. “I think that’s probably fortunate; Vwokhu was far more handsome than I. Still is, for that matter.”

“I’m Rixie,” Rixie said, not quite knowing what to say. “I….” Shaking her head, she said, “I’m not sure how to….”

“Come, sit down,” Kullervo said, gesturing to a couple of chairs. “This isn’t an easy conversation for either of us. But as your biological parent, it’s my responsibility to make it less so. After all, this isn’t an easy conversation because I’ve been a lousy parent.”

Rixie paused, waiting for him to sit, but he shook his head. “In public, that is the right protocol. But the younger princesses and princes royal are expected to sit before their elders, save for the Dronung; their elders are supposed to be strong and supportive.”

“I’m…not claiming that title, you know.”

“I know,” Kullervo said, sitting after Rixie did. “But you’re my daughter. I was supposed to be strong and supportive and I’ve been weak and pathetic. It is a bit late for me to try to change this, but…well, I owe you that much.”

Rixie studied the man in the chair, trying to read his emotions. He looked very sad, Rixie thought, and very tired. There was a happiness, though, or maybe relief – he was glad to see her. At least she hoped he was.

“I’ve talked with the Empress – with Rajenlif – about how this…happened,” Rixie said. “How I came to be with the Hoplites, I mean, I…have kids, I know where they come from. I’m not saying it was a good thing…hells, so much of my life would be different if I hadn’t been a Hoplite that I don’t even know if I can imagine whether it was good or bad. But….”

“Since Raja told me about you, I’ve been reading up on you. And there’s a lot out there to read up on. Rixie, the way your life unfolded has been incredible. You should be very proud. And I…I am very ashamed that it unfolded in the care of the Hoplites, and not in my care. But I also know was a weak and brittle man I was when you were young, and I know….”

Kullervo looked down at his shoes. “Rixie, you might have done well with your mother. Despite her youth, she was bright and caring and capable. But I would have been a terrible father to you. I was gone from your life, which is shameful. But I think that you were still better off without me.”

“No, I wasn’t. I was lonely and sad and felt like the whole universe was empty. I wanted to be loved and I didn’t really think anyone could love me. Not for many, many years. Even when I met someone who did love me, loved me deeply and completely and obviously, I told myself that he only cared for me because I’d given him no choice. It took me decades and two near-death experiences for me to admit to myself that he loved me because I deserved to be loved. You may have been a bad father; I don’t know. But I would have killed for a bad father. I would have killed for anyone.”

Rixie didn’t know where those words had come from. She hadn’t intended to say them, not in that way. She had told herself that she really did understand, and she knew that he wasn’t wrong, that she really might have been better off without him.

But it hadn’t felt that way. And no matter how she could rationally connect the dots…it would never feel that way.

Kullervo did not meet her gaze, and she found herself dropping her own. “I’m sorry,” she said, after what felt like hours. “That isn’t fair.”

“Of course it’s fair,” Kullervo said. “If you’d walked in and punched me square in the jaw, that would be fair. If you told me you never wanted to see me again, that I didn’t deserve to know you, that would be fair. Rixie, I failed at the most important job I had. And you…you deserved much more than I gave you. I don’t expect you to want to talk to me after tonight. I hope you will; I want you to call me up sometimes just to say hello, to share news about your kids. I want you to be a part of my life, and I want to be part of yours. I’ll settle for you willing to at least tolerate me on occasion. But I know that I haven’t earned your respect, or your good graces, and I certainly haven’t earned your love. And that is my failure. Mine alone. Your mother cared enough about you to flee to Sininentavas, to keep you safe and give you a chance at a decent life. I…I talked back to my mom a bit. I…I hope I can have some sort of relationship with you. That we will cross paths again, that you might even call out of the blue someday, just to say hello. But…I won’t deserve that.”

Rixie had been absorbing all of this, staring at the floor. She took a deep breath.

“You might,” she said, looking back up. “Eventually. If you call me up sometimes, just to say hello. If you ask about your grandkids. If you want to be a part of my life – of our lives, because Alex and Asteria and Ryan are a part of me. If you want to be a friend to us….”

“I want to be a father,” Kullervo said, wiping his eyes. “But I know it’s too late for that. I would be grateful…grateful to be….”

Rixie took his hand. “I married Alex after we were dating for over twenty years, and had adopted one kid and had another. I don’t think it’s too late. At least, not for something. It won’t be a normal relationship. I mean, I’m not going to accept a curfew….”

Kullervo laughed. “I’ve read about your exploits. I wouldn’t try putting a curfew on you; it would never stick. I was very lucky not to have to rein you in when you were sixteen…and I’m very sad that I didn’t get to fail at that. We would be laughing about how poorly I managed. But…but I lost that chance. I…I won’t blow this one, if you’re willing to give it to me. And Rixie…if you change your mind…you deserve better than me. And I don’t deserve to be your father. So if you decide that no, this isn’t working….”

“If it isn’t working, we don’t have to keep forcing it,” said Rixie. “But mom said….”

She paused. She hadn’t meant to say “Mom,” it had slipped out. But she nodded, and continued on. “Mom said that she and I can be friends. Well, you and I can start there too. We’ll get to know each other. You can decide whether I’m actually the woman with my resume, or if I’m the pain in the butt that I know I can be. I can decide whether you’re the guy who mentors young addicts, or the guy who got in a relationship with a girl who was underaged.”

“I’m…honestly sorry about that. Raja put me under house arrest for that, that and my drinking, and being a fool.”

Rixie shrugged. “If you’d been in half the systems in the Empire, it would’ve been legal. You were only a full adult in Jotnarherath. And anyhow, the statute of limitations ran out a long time ago. The person who would have a right to be upset is mom, and she doesn’t seem to be. But you know what I mean; maybe once we talk a bit outside of this palace, you’ll turn out to be a schmuck. Or maybe I’ll turn out to be a rough-edged goofball who’s too uncouth for you to pal around with.”

Kullervo laughed at that. “Rixie, I’m a Jotnar. I keep my axe sharp, even though I haven’t used it in two decades. You’re uncouth because, what, you’re a soldier and a cop? You know, the line that leads to the House of Throden goes back to Geastomylor, who was a cop before she was Dronung. I’ve read some of her writing; she makes street toughs of today look urbane. And she was a vwofas good Dronung. Jotunn are polite…until someone crosses us, and then the butragi can vwofasi themselves.”

“Gorram right,” Rixie said. “Did Rajenlif tell you why I wear so many braids?”

“She didn’t, but given that you live in the Empire proper…guessing you wanted some racists to lip off about bluefaces?”

Rixie nodded. “I put one in for every attack I got when I was a kid, until I ran out of hair. I didn’t want to hide being a Jotunn. I wanted them to know. If they wanted to say something…I wanted to know. Because when the time came, I wanted to be able to pay it back.”

Kullervo gave Rixie a solemn smile. “I know you grew up outside of Jotnarherath, and away from your family. But that reaction? That’s the reaction of a Princess Royal of Savarna. And though I have nothing more to do with it than youthful stupidity…Rixie, that makes me vwofas proud to be your father.”

Rixie smiled, wide and honest. “Thanks,” she said.

“Now, it’s just your siblings today,” Kullervo said. “Didn’t want to overwhelm you with other kids and partners and such.”

“I…Alex came, and Asteria, I….”

“Oh no! I definitely want to meet your daughter. And your husband. I just didn’t want to turn this into a firing line for questions. I will warn you, though, all of my children are inquisitive.”

“Well, that’s true,” Rixie said. “We all are.”

Kullervo smiled, wide and honest. “Yes, you all are. Shall I get them?”

“Yes. I’ll get Alex, and Asteria, and Thyllia. Have you met Thyllia?”

“Several times,” Kullervo said. “As fine a person as her sister. And almost as fine a person as her mother-in-law.”

* * *

Nonull looked across the small ship’s cabin at Xyly, who was currently sprawled, naked, on the small cot that folded into the wall.

He was never entirely sure how he felt about her, and he was never less sure than moments like this, when the stimulants had almost perfectly cancelled out the depressants, leaving him as close to the him he used to be as he ever got.

Part of him loved her. When he had been at his lowest, she had saved him, and taken him in, and given him purpose. He had been made for this purpose, and she had seen that. She had recognized his talent, and she had channeled it. And he was grateful.

And part of him despised her, because she had sought him out, and groomed him, and turned him to this life, this horrible life, in which he had done such monstrous things, in which he had become something he would have despised when he was young and idealistic.

He hated moments like this, because it was in these moments that he was conscious of it all, aware of it all, and sickened by it all. And worse, enraptured by it all.

And her.

There were many days when he considered going home. He could, he knew. He had enough money saved. He could go home, get sober, become just another jerk working a day job. He should do it. This was going to kill him. And it wasn’t going to do it quickly enough to save his soul.

But as much as he knew he should go back home, he knew he wouldn’t. It wasn’t just the drugs he was addicted to. It was the thrill, the hunt, the game.

And her.

He downed a sedative and hoped it would put him to sleep. If he woke up, he’d be ready for the jobs.