Chapter Thirty-Seven: Interrogations and Apologies

Luke wasn’t sure why he was doing this.

Oh, he had some idea of why he was. And he certainly was enjoying it. But it complicated things.

It complicated them in a very nice way.

Quendra, on the other hand, didn’t have any idea of anything. She returned the kiss – she didn’t need to be consciously aware of all her conflicting thoughts to know that for this moment, this was wonderful – but as soon as the moment ended, she knew what she was going to say.

“Luke…why did you do that?”

Luke looked at her, and his heart sank. She was confused. Annoyed. A little bit hurt.

That’s never the response you hope for.

“I’m sorry,” he said with a sigh. “I…that was stupid.”

“That depends,” Quendra said, staring into his eyes.

“On what?”

“On why you did it.”

Luke chuckled. “If I admit that I’m not sure, what does that mean?”

Quendra backed up a bit. “Well, it’s not encouraging,” she said. Though Luke noted she didn’t turn away.

Luke looked at the ground. “I can tell you what it wasn’t about,” Luke said. “It wasn’t about seeing if you’d…uh…’be careless,’” he said.

“I thought you didn’t see it that way,” Quendra said.

“I don’t,” Luke said, running a hand through his hair. “But you do. And…that’s fine, Quendra. It is. It’s not about that.”

Quendra raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, it’s not totally not about that, but…can I sit down for a second? My leg’s killing me.”

Quendra sighed, and walked over to one of her chairs, sitting down opposite Luke.

“All right,” she said as he settled himself. “So if I was to be careless, you’d be happy to take advantage of that?”

Luke groaned. “Quendra…you were just in tears over having been with your fiancé. I know how you feel about it. I couldn’t take advantage of you and be happy about it, so no – beautiful, smart, tough as you are, I wouldn’t.”

Quendra gave him the faintest of smiles. “So why did you, then? Out of pity?”

Luke looked at Quendra. If he was honest, he knew the biggest reason that he had done it, and that was the woman sitting across from him. She was beautiful, smart, tough, defiant – and vulnerable and caring and loyal. She was untutored, he supposed, but still whip-smart. He didn’t pity her at all – oh, he felt sympathy for her losses, to be sure. But pity? No, he did not pity Quendra. He knew why he’d done it.

“I kissed you because I like you, Quendra. I like you a lot. Because…I don’t know where it might take us, but I want to find out.”

Quendra looked at him for a little while, as if sizing him up, before she got up, crossed the short distance to his chair, knelt down beside him, and kissed him as hard as she could.

When finally she came up for air, she said two words – “right answer” – and went back in.

Luke kissed her back fully, and reminded his libido that there would be nothing more than that tonight. Because he did respect Quendra. He did not want to cross any boundaries. And more than that….

…he knew that Quendra was here. And Aisell was not. And as much as he liked Quendra, he still wasn’t sure what his heart would tell him to do when he saw Aisell again. He could not get in too deep with Quendra, not yet. Not until he knew for sure.

A few kilounits away, in a small apartment in Medzina, Yamma perched carefully on Gae’s shoulder as she finished up her proposal.

“So tell me, darling, am I making a mistake?”

Yamma looked at the pad; he had taught himself to read when he was a pet, and Gae had helped him more; he was reading almost as fast as she was, but not quite. He looked it over, and sighed. “The plan itself is very good,” he said. “Really, you’ve put together a great proposal, Gae. But….”

“I know what you’re going to say. What happens when the higher-ups get a hold of it?”

“Well, yeah.”

“I thought of that,” Gae said with a grin. “Because yeah, Emperor help us if the Aement chapter decides to take lead. But I’m betting you didn’t notice what I left out.”

“Huh? What?” Yamma said, looking back at the screen.

“I left out the location of the farm.”

Yamma looked at her; she was looking at him out of the corner of her eye and beaming. “Clever girl,” he said. “That’s brilliant.”

“I like to think so. I’m going to tell them that the landowner is hemming and hawing, but I have an in, and if we go tromping around we’ll just end up facing no trespassing signs and a force field around the woods. Which is probably true.”

“And then, if it turns out the people are there – “

“We negotiate on Lezah’s behalf. We don’t give them specifics until the deal is done.”

“Wow, gok’ma, have I ever told you how sexy you are when you’re brainy?”

“You tell me how sexy I am all the time,” Gae said, and laughed as she felt Yamma grab a fistful of her hair. She knew what he was going to do; just in case, she held her hands up to spot him.

Yamma pushed off her shoulder and traversed her cheek, pushing off once to give himself some air, before coming to rest at the bridge of her nose. He let go of the hair, and alighted carefully, embracing it with his whole self. He kissed it gently, and looked into her left eye; her eyes were crossed, in fact, and crinkled in amusement – but then, he was surprised to see them mist over, just a bit.

“What’s wrong, Gae?”

“Oh…nothing. It’s just…you have to work so hard, Yamma. Just to love me. I hate that.”

Yamanu laughed. “It’s not hard work; it’s fun. You have no idea what a lovely landscape you are.”

“Flatterer. I just…you know, I love you as you are. You don’t ever have to prove anything to me. Okay?”

The human leaned into his Titan lover, placing his forehead against her skin. “So how badly am I failing to please you?”

“Wait, what? No! You aren’t…Yamma, you’ve never failed to ‘please’ me yet! I…Empresses’ tits, no, that’s not what I’m saying at all! I just….”

Gae paused for a second, and gathered her thoughts. “Yamma, I love the way you love me. I love how it feels when you explore me, how it feels when you squeeze yourself into places on me that I hardly knew existed. How it feels when you walk down my spine…it’s like electricity, my darling man. I can’t describe it, but I would murder people for that feeling.”

She sighed contentedly. “It’s not about you pleasing me. It’s that…I don’t have to do much. You have to do so much work, and I…just have to be here. For you to explore. I worry that I’m not doing enough to please you.”

“Gok’ma, do you think I would spend as much time exploring you as I do if you weren’t doing enough to please me?” Yamma said. “You are you. You don’t have to do anything to make me happy. You know that, right? Just being you…Gae, I love you. I’m happy just being with you.”

“Yeah, but…the same is true for you, Yamma. You don’t ever have to do anything to make me happy. I already am. I just…oh, gorram, here I am with a hot boy hugging me, and I’m nattering away,” she said, and she plucked Yamma from her nose.

Yamma was a bit surprised at that, but he let her do it; not that he could physically stop her, but she would if he asked. But he had to admit, he was a bit curious as to what Gae had in mind.

He was rather shocked when she popped him into her mouth.

For half a second, he wondered if Gae had lost her mind, but only for half a second. She closed her teeth very slowly, making sure he was not in the way of them; she then used her tongue to push him back against the front of her mouth, and then pushed it into him with careful abandon, feeling along him, gently massaging him, until she found what she was looking for.

Yamma groaned as she carefully worked her tongue around his pelvis, finally finding a position where she could slowly, wickedly pulsate, pushing and releasing, pushing and releasing, intensely and relentlessly, until just a few of her taste buds picked up the flavor of salt.

She chuckled, and opened her mouth, and dropped her wet and weary lover back into her palm. “So as I was saying,” she said, beaming down at him, “you shouldn’t have to do all the work every time. That’s all.”

Yamma lay back in the palm of her hand, giggling up at the beauty who stared down at him. “Well,” he said, when he finally caught his breath. “I appreciate that…but after that…well, you know, I feel more like exploring than ever.”

Gae kissed him softly, resting her lips on him for a good long while, just holding contact with him. When finally she pulled away, she said, softly, “I love you so much. So much more than I ever thought I could love anyone.”

Her tiny lover ran a hand across her lips. “I love you as much as any man your size could.”

“No, love; you love me far more than any man my size ever could. More than anyone of any size could. And I would love for you to explore me, but only if you want to.”

Yamma leaned up and kissed her lip. “I always want to, gok’ma. Always.”

She stood up carefully, and giving him just one more kiss, she headed for the bed.

For the first time she could remember, Quendra felt relaxed.

Luke had been as good as his word – they had kissed a good long while, but he made no attempt at anything more. Truthfully…well, there were things one could do while courting that nobody thought were particularly bad, and she resolved to mention some of them to Luke when she saw him later. She was glad to see he respected her boundaries…but that didn’t mean he had to stay a day’s walk away from them.

At any rate, she had a warm, bubbly feeling in her core that swamped the three things that she knew should bother her. First, she knew that Luke was not ready to fully commit to her. He hadn’t said that, not exactly, but he hadn’t proclaimed his undying love for her. She knew part of him was still anchored on Earth, and part still anchored with Aisell – Quendra would have snorted derisively, but she decided she was better than that. Luke had not lied to her, nor promised her the necklace he did not wear. He had told her he wanted to see what would come of this. Truthfully, so did she. For as Thurfrit had so wisely told her, it would not do to win Luke’s promise if she did not win his heart.

The second thing that she thought should bother her…well, it didn’t bother her. Not much, anyhow. She didn’t know what she would have thought of Luke had she been Quendra, Wife of Disa; she could never know. But loss was a part of the life they led; had she preceded Disa in death, she would have hoped he would find someone he could love. Disa had died; he had no claim on her from the afterlife, nor would he have wanted one. She would always love him, and always miss him, but he was beyond her, and would be until she joined him.

Luke was here, now. Surely Disa would understand.

The final thing that should be bothering her….

Quendra turned her head at the knock on the door. Aha. Right on schedule. She rose, and went to it, and opened it. Devo the Wise, Former Elder Tinker, stood at her doorway and calmly nodded. “Quendra the Huntress, Screams Like Kipp, I bring the formal response to your challenge from Kumn the Elder Huntress, Hammer Hand.”

Quendra nodded. “Thank you, Wise Devo. What has she decided?”

“She has decided against a novel challenge. Instead, she has demanded that in the middle part of the day after the next sunrise, you meet her in the Great Hall, before the assembled Tribe. You may have her mask if you can take it from her.”

“I am unsurprised,” Quendra said. “I expected as much.”

“Quendra,” Devo said, dropping his voice and the formal tone. “I like you. You know if this challenge fails, you may not renew it until next summer. You may withdraw…and if you wish to persist and should fail, know that I have talked to Mant, he would take you as a Defender if….”

“I appreciate that, Wise Devo,” Quendra said. “But no, I am neither surprised nor afraid. I expected this of Kumn. It will be the standard ten turns?”

“Yes; she made no demands, so it is the Mask Fight, exactly as it has always been.”

Quendra nodded. “Very good. Thank you, Wise Devo. You may tell the Elder Huntress that I will greet her in the Great Hall midway between the first sleep of the day and the second; I will take her mask, or bow to her and call her Elder.”

Devo smiled tightly. “Quendra, I hope you know what you are doing. I will let her know. Who will be your assistant?”

Quendra smiled at that. “I assume Kumn has chosen Hari?”

“She has.”

“Good. I choose Drugar the Leader; he is not adjudicating this, and is available to stand at my side.”

Devo raised his eyebrows. “That is…quite unusual, you know.”

“Well, it should be Drugar here instead of you, but as he’s stepped aside…understand, if Drugar declines….”

Devo chuckled. “Quendra, Drugar told me that I should recommend him to you; so shall it be. May the Great Spirit guide you, Quendra the Huntress.”

“Go safely, Devo the Wise,” Quendra said, and shut the door to her room. Then, she opened it again, and headed out; her assistant would be waiting, and it would be better to talk now than later.