Sorcha sat brooding on the large, comfortable sofa in her parent’s living room. She could hear her mother’s voice interspersed by silence coming down the hall from her parent’s bedroom. She assumed the silence was not silence but in fact her father talking. He was pretty tired and had had his fill of the day (And of Kapavi). Sorcha was pretty tired too. It should have been one of the happiest days of her life, she’d waited for it for as long as she could remember but the events with the waiter had spoilt it. And it was all her fault. She had hoped that once the Zeramblin Act was passed everything would change like the flick of a switch. It was becoming obvious that there were many more battles ahead. Battles that Sorcha could not afford to lose her cool in like she’d done earlier. It had been almost two years since she’d had an incident. So much time and effort almost thrown away in a moment.

She winced as she felt shame bite at her once more. Again, Lessy had to take over the situation. Sorcha had made great strides since the Titan Station incident. She hadn’t been arrested once. But the momentary lapse in control had almost cost her earlier today. It could have been bad for all of them; especially her parents and Loona.

“Sorcha you idiot…” she chided herself.

She burrowed further into to the corner of the soft sofa, trying to find a hole to crawl into and disappear. She heard the door close and footsteps coming down the long hallway that ran the length of the bungalow. The dark, rich wood panelling echoed the sound of the equally as expensive wooden floor. Sorcha had always hated it. Any giggle she and Lessy made as children was amplified to the living room alerting her parents they were up way past their bed time. Or the many times it echoed her footsteps as she tried to creep out late at night as a teenager. Not even her father could make it down that hallway without being heard.

Sorcha’s eyes followed her mother as she walked across the living room and into the dining room without looking at her. There was the sound of glasses clinking and her mother returned with two large, stemmed glasses and a green bottle.

“You look like you could use a drink.” Naskia said sitting down on the sofa beside her and setting the glasses down.

Naskia opened the bottle and poured the blood red liquid into the glasses. “We were saving this bottle of Kapavi for this day. I tried to convince your Dad to join us but he’s too tired. Which is handy as I think you and I have some things to talk about.”

Sorcha sighed “Look, I feel bad enough as it is without the guilt trip.”

“I bet you do…” Naskia said taking a big gulp from the glass.

Sorcha pushed herself up to her feet in one quick movement. “I’m going to bed…”

“Sit!” Naskia said, not shouting but in a tone Sorcha knew better than to disobey.

“I’ve no intention of lecturing you or guilting you. I just thought we should have a talk.” Naskia spoke calmly.

Sorcha sat down and Naskia handed her the glass of kapavi.

“Drink! This is expensive stuff. The best. We bought this ourselves, with our own hard earned money. Not a gift from Pryvani.” Naskia took another sup and Sorcha thought it best to do as she was told.

“Mmmm, it’s good.” Sorcha sat holding the glass limply into her chest.

Naskia shifted on the sofa and tucked her legs in under her body and turned to face her daughter. She missed her. She hardly got to see her. Sorcha was away for months at a time on Avalon. Naskia wanted nothing more than to buy the house next door and move her daughter in there, find her a good job and nice boy but that wasn’t Sorcha. Sorcha had broad wings and didn’t like to be caged.

“Remember when you were growing up? What did your Dad always used to joke you got from me?” Naskia asked with an intention of leading the conversation down a specific path.

Sorcha smiled. “My pretty face…”

Naskia returned a smile remarkably similar to her daughter’s. “And what did he say you got from him?”

“My brains and confidence…”

“Hmmm.” Naskia took another sip and Sorcha followed her. “Overconfidence Tuppy, overconfidence.”

“Eh…same thing.”

Naskia laughed. “They’re FAR from the same thing, but that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“So this isn’t just some nice walk down memory lane?”

“Nope…” Naskia said taking a noticeably bigger gulp of her kapavi.

It made Sorcha nervous. She could tell, as well as her mother was hiding it, that she was nervous.” “Sooooo, if this isn’t a lecture or a guilt trip, what is it?”

“There’s something else you got from me. A trait that seems to run in the women of the Bass family. Your Grandma has it, I have it and so do you Sorsh…”

“I’m assuming it’s not my signature cheerfulness?” Sorcha smiled cheekily.

Naskia laughed and took another drink. “Oh no! But you do have that in common with your Grandma, I swear she likes you more than she likes me!”

Naskia finished her glass and Sorcha took a large gulp to catch up, extending her glass to her mother for a refill.

“It’s your temper…” Naskia said settling back on the sofa.

Sorcha snorted derisively at her mother’s statement. Her mother was one of most placid, calm headed people she knew. Her father was scarier than she was.

“C’mon Mum! You’re always happy and cheery. Even on a bad day you’re nice!” Sorcha rocked back and forth with her mouth hanging open.

Naskia took another drink. “Not always Tuppy…not always. I had hoped with you being beautiful, brilliant and confident you’d grow out of it. I thought we should talk about it before you got as bad as I did…”

Sorcha nearly choked on her kapavi and spat out half a mouthful back into her glass. “As bad as YOU!? I put five guards in Titan Station’s infirmary! How bad could you have got!?”

Naskia took another big swig of her kapavi. She was not looking forward to the conversation she was about to have. The smile faded from her face and she looked straight into her daughter’s eyes.

“Sorcha, I’m going to tell you some things, I don’t know if you’ll believe but I do know you won’t like. I need you to hear me, and remember, I’m not that person anymore.” Naskia said.

Sorcha was getting worried. She could read her mother well and right now all she could see was fear and shame. She nodded to her mother and sipped her Kapavi waiting anxiously for what she was about to be told.

“When I was your age, or a little older, I was a different person.” She began. “I was shy, nervous, a bit of a mess really. Your Dad changed me, he helped me to grow and to stop being so nervous and scared.” She stopped and took another large gulp as her daughter watched on expectantly.

“Your father can read me like a first year text book. He’s always been able to do that. “She smiled warmly. “From the very first second we met he poked and prodded and looked for ways to get what he wanted. And he could, very well. It took him little more than a day to go from pet to friend. And only a few weeks from friend to lover.”

Sorcha blushed slightly uncomfortable with the use of the word “lover”.

“But on one occasion…he pushed too hard. It was about three weeks after I…bought him…We got into a fight. A big one. I did some mean things, took things from him. He escalated; yelling at me, berating me, tearing strips off me. He was far worse with me then than he was with you earlier. I couldn’t take it…” Naskia stopped taking one final gulp of courage.

“I hit him…”

The blood drained from Sorcha’s face as she processed what her mother was telling her.

“I don’t remember doing it. I was just so angry. Beyond angry, something else took over. I nearly killed him…broke some ribs, internal bleeding. He was in pain for nearly a month…” Naskia said tearing up. “It came out at your father’s employment hearing, though that was sealed long ago.”

Sorcha didn’t say anything. She just stared blankly, her mouth agape.

“Please, Sorcha…Tuppy…say something.”

“How…how…how could you!?” Sorcha said angrily. “You are SO much stronger than him! He was defenceless!”

Naskia shook her head. “I don’t know, I wish I could tell you but I don’t. The same as I’m sure you can’t tell me why you beat up those guards or when you knocked out that cheerleader back in school.”

Sorcha’s cold glare faded as a memory flashed in her mind’s eye. She wasn’t entirely innocent when it came to lashing out at Humans.

“I…I…I nearly killed Lessy once…”

“What!? When!?” Naskia gasped.

“That time on Avalon, before First Contact. Lessy gave a speech about how Pryvani chose no Humans to go to Titan Station and we all ended up going…but Pryvani chose Rixie and me to go…I’m Human…I got upset. I don’t even remember it happening but if she had been a split second slower she would be dead…”

Naskia set her kapavi down quickly and nearly dove across the sofa. She wrapped her arms around her daughter and placed a hand on the back of her hair, cradling Sorcha’s head in the crook of her neck. “Oh Tuppy…”

Sorcha let her mother cradle her, feeling better in her embrace. It had been a while since she felt vulnerable like this. Like she was still a kid, upset at other kids teasing her. Her mother released her and leaned back.

“Was she ok?”

The young woman nodded. “She was, we worked it out…”

“Good…”

Both women picked up their glasses and drained half their contents.

“Sorcha, there’s more. And it’s…worse…” Naskia gulped.

Sorcha nodded and pulled her kapavi into her chest ready to hear her mother out. She was in no place to judge.

“Before I tell you, I need to know you won’t EVER speak of it again. There’s only three people in the Universe who know this. You can’t tell anyone, not even Lessy.” Naskia spoke seriously “The only people who know are me, you father and…”

“And?” Sorcha asked not sure if she wanted to hear the answer.

Naskia swallowed. “Nonah.”

“Oh gods Mum. What…what happened?”

Naskia drained the rest of her glass and then refilled it. She set the bottle down with a thud on the wooden table top. She was clearly upset.

“Not long after we met Nonah she was staying with us. Loona was away for her course.” Naskia paused steadying herself. She bit her bottom lip and inhaled through her nose. “This is the worst thing I have ever, EVER done. I don’t talk about it. It still haunts me, I still lie awake at night sometimes thinking about it.”

“It’s ok Mum.” Sorcha reached out and set her hand on top of Naskia’s “I won’t say a word to anyone.”

“I just don’t want you to think less of me.”

Sorcha shook her head. “I couldn’t. It’s not like I can judge.”

Naskia nodded. “Nonah was staying with us. Your Dad had just started teaching her to read and write. She was looking out for him too, he’d been having panic attacks and I couldn’t leave him on his own. That was the idea. She’d be a project to keep him distracted and she’d keep an eye on him for me. She was smart. Learned faster than anyone thought she would.”

“So what happened?”

“She made me nervous. She was so beautiful, so full of life. Always happy and smiling and full of joy. She wasn’t shy or nervous or plain like me. And worst of all…she was Human…” Naskia continued, her hands visibly shaking.

“Why did that matter? You know that doesn’t matter to Dad.”

“I was young and stupid! I didn’t know that! I just saw a threat!” Naskia let loose a frustrated burst. “One day I came back to find her with her arms wrapped around your Dad, lying in bed together. I…I…I just lost it. I tortured her, threatened her, put her under my foot and threatened to crush her. She…she wet herself she was so frightened. And I didn’t care…I didn’t care Sorcha. I was gone. Burnt up in rage. If your Dad hadn’t stepped in proved to me it was all innocent I would have killed her. Probably him too…”

“Mum…I…” Sorcha stammered.

“She was comforting him!” Naskia said tears running down her cheeks. “He had been screaming in his sleep. Nonah was looking after him, like I asked her too. And I robbed her of her innocence and nearly lost your Dad in the process.”

Sorcha just stared at her mother. She couldn’t believe what she had just said. This sweet, kind gentle woman hadn’t hurt so much as a bug as long as Sorcha could remember and now she was hearing this. Now she was hearing her mother had a monster inside of her. She could see she was ashamed. She could have just kept it to herself but she’d told her for a reason. She couldn’t judge her. Sorcha was just as bad. And she knew she had it within her to be far worse.

“How did you get her to forgive you?”

“That’s another story for another time…” Naskia said wiping awake tears with her sleeve.

“Mum…I have to know…you can’t tell me that and not tell me how you’re still such good friends.” Sorcha pleaded.

“I saved her life. When she and your Dad got kidnapped by a creep.” Naskia said.

“The one who beat you up? Put you in hospital?”

Naskia nodded. “He did. He tried to step on Nonah. I stopped him. He kicked me over and over again trying to get to Nonah but I wouldn’t let him. I would have let him kill me first.”

Sorcha smiled at her mother. “No wonder she loves you.”

“Your Dad got his holoprojector working for the first time then. He beat him to within an inch of his life.” Naskia smiled and swished her kapavi around her glass. “He got sent away to a prison colony. Dunno what happened to him after that.”

“What about you? How did you get to be so…calm?” Sorcha leaned in.

“It took time. A lot of therapy and a lot of support from your Daddy.” Naskia said. “I got there in the end. I do still have to take a few deep breaths every now and again.”

Sorcha sighed and sipped her kapavi. “I’m not sure that’ll work for me Mum…”

“Tuppy, do you remember a few years ago during First Contact, your uncle ordered the Human ship be picked up?” Naskia asked.

“The Stanislaw Lem” Sorcha reminded.

“The Captain had weapons on board and she was ready to blow up her ship, destroying the Gyfjon and killing hundreds of Titans. But she didn’t. She chose peace.” Naskia paused for a second. “If you were in charge of the Stanislaw Lem, what would have done?”

Sorcha laughed. “Probably would have blown everyone up.”

“But Xu Mulan didn’t. Imagine if she had of…” Naskia led her daughter.

“The Legislature would never have voted for First Contact. They’d probably have ordered a total lockdown of Earth. Shot down any Earth ships on sight. Maybe even have invaded…” Sorcha said half grasping her mother’s point.

“That decision was probably one of THE most important decisions ever made in all of Human history. Xu Mulan thought rationally and made a decision based on the facts and what she knew was best rather than letting her anger take over. She knew what she faced and she faced it with a cool head and dignity.” Naskia wrapped her daughter’s hands in her own. “You have to find a way to control your anger. To use it to your advantage, to draw strength from it but not to be ruled by it. You are so very talented but your temper is holding you back.”

Sorcha looked down at her legs. “I’m not sure I know how Mummy…”

“Well I know one person who I think can help…”

“Who!?” Sorcha said waiting for her mother to give her the answer.

“You…”

Sorcha looked at her mother sideways. “I think you’ve had a bit too much to drink…”

“You’re an angry young woman and rightfully so a lot of the time. But you assume that anger is your Human half. It’s not, it’s your Titan side. The part of you that you pretend doesn’t really exist.” Her mother spoke softly and sadly. There was an unspoken truth being released here. “It tells you to protect those Humans who need protecting and gives you your strong sense of right and wrong. When you punched Aertimus on Titan Station that was your Titan side expressing her disapproval, not your Human side feeling discriminated against. You’ve become so confused and wrapped up in just being Human, and that’s my fault. I should have spotted it and helped you seen the good in that half of yourself.”

Naskia sighed and downed the rest of her kapavi.

“Take some time to listen to the Titan in you. Talk to her, get to know her and stop denying she’s there. You get your temper from me but you also get those genes from me and you should love them like you love me…”

“Looks like you’re out…” Sorcha smiled and nodded to the empty glass and then to the empty bottle.

Naskia got up. “There’s always that bottle of Avalonian whiskey…”

“Daddy will kill you!” Sorcha grinned.

Naskia walked to the cabinet, swaying just a little. “Nah he won’t. I’ll just flash him a bit of boob and he’ll be fine.”

“Ewwww Mummy. I did NOT need to hear that!”