Alex woke up when something tickled his nose.

He opened his eyes and realized he had someone’s arms surrounding him. The nose-tickling culprit was a lone braid. And there was someone pressed against his back, still snoring softly in her sleep. It took Alex a moment to recall where he was and the events of the past few hours. When he did, he smiled softly and laid back on the bed to let Rixie sleep for a while longer, content to just lay next to her. Sure, she was a hologram, but the knowledge that she was in just the next room over helped mitigate that, somewhat.

“Good morning…” Rixie yawned, burying her face between his shoulder blades.

“I was hoping to let you sleep a little longer.” Alex sighed, rolling over to look her in the eyes.

“I got plenty of sleep before you got to the compound.” Rixie responded. “Besides, we have a long day ahead of us.”

Alex sat up and placed his feet on the ground, his back to Rixie again. “Yeah… I suppose we do.”

Rixie’s hand appeared on his shoulder and she gently squeezed. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

Alex looked over his shoulder, his eyes searching out the pale green of her own. She looked… well she looked like part of her was hoping he’d say no. That he’d be willing to put off the inevitable for another day.

And if he was honest with himself, part of him wanted to as well.

But they’d tried that. They had tried everything else. He’d talked over every aspect of the event with Rixie and with Nick. What he could remember, what he couldn’t. The pain, the trauma, they’d exorcised every demon they could find for that night. They’d tried easing him into being around Titans gradually, like dipping his toe into a hot bath.

But now, it was time for him to take the plunge.

Alex sighed and nodded. “Yes. I know this is going to hurt for you, Rixie, but I need you to help me with this.”

Rixie swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded. Of course she would help.

“Then let’s not waste any time.” Alex hauled himself out of the bed.

Rixie hesitated, but only for a second. “Okay.” She sighed. “If you’re ready.”

*.*.*.*

The waiting was the worst part.

Rixie’s hologram had vanished instantly, which holograms tended to do, leaving Alex alone in the vast holosuite.

The size of the room seemed to press down on him and he felt his heart begin to hammer. Alex shook himself and tried to ignore the feeling. If he couldn’t even handle being alone in a room built for titans, there wasn’t a chance he’d be able to handle being around an actual titan.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes and tried to stop his heart from beating so fast.

The entrance to the holosuite thundered open and Alex turned around to see Rixie’s form outlined in the doorway. She was dressed casually, in cloth pants and a simple shirt, her feet covered in fuzzy socks. Alex realized they were the clothes she’d been sleeping in. But, beyond that, Alex suspected she tried to keep her appearance casual, soft, comforting. No imposing uniform or boots that shook the floor underneath him as she walked.

Alex steeled himself as she took her first step into the holosuite, forced himself to look up at her as she drew near. He felt as his limbs began to tremble and he clenched his fists to try and keep it under control.

Her first step into the room fell with a soft thud. He could feel her eyes on him as she assessed his reaction before taking a second step. Alex did his best to appear calm as she drew closer, soon he found himself standing in her shadow, by her feet. She was still several yards away, but he was well within her reach if she decided to grab him.

“Alex…” Her voice was soft, gentle and Alex grabbed onto it like a lifeline. He closed his eyes and focused on it, and not the imposing form the voice belonged to. “I’m going to kneel down, are you ready?”

Alex nodded, but then forced a reply through his lips. “Yes. Go ahead, Rixie.”

The slight tremor in the ground underneath him allowed Alex to sense her massive form moving in front of him and he forced his eyes open to watch. Rixie’s body seemed to collapse in on itself, like a building toppling in slow motion, as she slowly lowered herself down first onto one knee and then the other.

“Alex, look at me.” Rixie whispered, her voice carrying only the barest hint of an electronic buzz.

His eyes were screwed tight and he wanted nothing more than to open them and look up at Rixie, but his body rebelled. It was as if he held a subconscious desire to deny the presence of the giant being in front of him.

“You can do this, Alex.” Rixie’s voice washed over him again, like a warm comforting summer breeze. Alex grabbed onto that voice, held it tight and banished everything else from his mind except that wonderful sound. “Everything is okay.”

His knees trembled and Alex barely kept from collapsing to the floor, but he refused to allow himself to succumb. Finally, through sheer force of will, he was able to fight against every instinct his body had to panic, to run, and he forced his eyes to open and look up into Rixie’s face.

She smiled softly, her eyes silently asking if he was okay. He nodded and braced himself. They’d gotten through the first part, now things were going to get harder.

Rixie raised her hand, causing Alex to involuntarily flinch. She hesitated only for a brief second, before continuing to reach her hand out to him. As the appendage drew closer, Alex found himself stepping back. He saw Rixie’s eyes steel themselves and she kept advancing towards him, not ignoring his reaction, but knowing she had to continue anyway. That the only way to help him, might hurt him.

Alex could feel the panic building inside of him, like a dam threatening to burst. He felt each one of her footsteps travel up his leg and into his gut. Each nerve was on fire, screaming at him to run from the enormous creature in front of him. Alex felt the fear of a prey animal. Rixie’s form blotted out the light and her shadow enveloped him. The panic was almost too much for him to control, and Alex’s vision began to blur as the fear began to overwhelm him.

He fell to the floor with a bone-jarring thud when his legs gave out from underneath him. His body, of its own accord, curled up into a protective ball and Alex was practically biting through his own lip to keep from screaming.

But Rixie didn’t stop, didn’t back up, didn’t hesitate. Inside, the knowledge that she was causing Alex any sort of pain- let alone the mind crippling anxiety he was now feeling- tore her up. But she knew she ahd to be strong and not let up. Because he needed her to be. Because he asked her to be. Because, at that moment, he couldn’t be.

So she stood over his prone body, fighting down her own emotions at seeing him in this state, and slowly bent down, arm extended, to take him into her hands.

Alex’s eyes opened when the light adjusted to her movement. He looked up in time to see her form descending, hand splayed to ensnare his form. His body curled tighter, as if that could possibly defend himself from her. Then her fingers were gently curled around him. She secured him in her grip, despite his instinctive struggles, and slowly raised him off the ground and towards her face.

Alex was breathing hard, but part of him responded to the familiar sensation of her fingers around his body. Her flesh was warm, her skin soft. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on that, and not on the restricting feeling and claustrophobia he felt. Slowly, he felt his heartrate and breathing return to something resembling their normal pace.

Rixie cupped her palms around him, careful not to hold him too tightly. She could feel his chest rising and falling as he breathed in quick gasps of air.

“Steady Alex.” She whispered to him, uncurling her fingers from Alex’s body and cupping him in her upturned palm.

Alex swallowed again and nodded. He forced himself to keep his breathing steady. In… and out. In and… out.

“What’s your anxiety level, Alex?” Rixie murmured to him, repeating the familiar question that she and Nick had used in his sessions.

“Five.” Alex responded as he exhaled slowly.

Rixie’s eyebrow raised. “Alex, I need you to be honest.”

“No, I’m serious.” Alex smiled weakly and shook his head. “I’m a bit nervous, for lack of a better term, but this is the closest I’ve been able to get to you without screaming. I mean, come on… I’m sitting in the palm of your hand, having a rational conversation with you.”

Rixie bit her lip. She could tell that while Alex was talking a big game, it was taking all he had to keep his panic in check. Still, she had to admit he had a point. This was the first time they’d even been able to get this far.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” She asked tentatively.

Alex sighed and sat down in her palm, before pulling his knees to his chest in an effort to keep his trembling under control. “I’m not saying I’d be okay if you stuck me in your mouth or something Rix, but this? This is… okay. I can handle this.”

Rixie smiled and ran a hand across her eyes. “Okay.”

Gently, she used her thumb to rub across his back, feeling pleased when he leaned back against her. “How is your anxiety level now?” She asked quietly, her electronic voice just barely above a low hum.

“Four.” Alex sighed, eyes closed. He had missed this. He’d missed Rixie. The holograms could never replace this. This was real. This was touch, smell, feeling. Alex did enjoy being able to look Rixie in the eye, but nothing could ever replace the reality of their situation, of their relationship. And, despite his injuries and his anxieties, there was no part of Alex that wanted to replace them.

“Four?” Rixie’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “That’s wonderful news, Alex.”

She bit her lip and Alex felt her hand raise underneath him, pushing him slowly towards her slightly puckered lips.

She hesitated just before he made contact with her mouth. Before she could do anything, Alex had surged to his feet and pressed himself against her.

She chuckled, the sound vibrating her mouth.

“I was giving you a chance to back out.” Rixie explained a moment later, after pulling him away.

“I know.” Alex nodded, with a grin on his face. “I declined.”

Rixie carefully lowered herself into a seated position and gently dropped Alex onto her thigh. “This isn’t the end of it, Alex.” She told him, a small frown marring her features. “You’re not completely cured yet.”

“No.” Alex admitted. “I’m not. I can be okay around you, I think, I’ve gotten used to you again. But as we discovered last night, I’m not so great around other titans. Even ones who are only children.”

Rixie nodded. “Thyllia did the right thing though, coming to get us.”

“She did.” Alex agreed. “She seems like a smart girl. She’s okay, though, right? I hope I didn’t scare her or anything.”

“She’s fine.” Rixie assured him, placing her fingers over his body. “She was only concerned about whether you had gotten any better or not. She’s a good kid.”

“Well…” Alex sighed. “Even so, I’d like to apologize for scaring her.”

“Alex…”

“I know,” Alex interrupted. “That it wasn’t my fault, and I couldn’t control my reaction, but even so… I’d still like to be able to talk to her about it.”

“Well…” Rixie muttered. “I’m sure we’ll be able to arrange that… Eventually. But, for now, I think we need to let you rest. This is a major victory for you Alex, but I can tell it took a lot out of you. There’s plenty of time to get you acclimated to being around more than just me. There’s no reason you can’t take a moment, just to relax.”

“I know.” Alex muttered.

“You’re doing so well.” Rixie smiled down on the human resting on her thigh. “I’m so proud of you.”