You’d never know it, but buddy, I’m a kind of poet,
And I got a lot of things I like to say.

–Harold Allen and Johnny Mercer, “One for My Baby (and One More for the Road)”

 

Tuesday is always a quiet night at the bar, no matter where in the universe you happen to be.

Avalon does not have a Tuesday, of course. For one thing, its days vary in length depending on where exactly it is in its orbit around Herakleos. On average, they’re just over 26 hours in length. Its years are slightly more than 349-and-four-fifths-Avalonian-days long, meaning that the Avalonian local calendar was long ago chopped up into six-day weeks, which go into nine months of 35 days and one that is 35 most years except for when it’s thirty-four. It gets a little complicated, because basically one week a month has but one day on the weekend, while the others have two, but for all practical purposes, the second day of the work-week, Dworyag, is the Avalonian Tuesday.

Whether you called it a Tuesday or a Dworyag, it was a quiet night at Rixie’s. There were a few people drinking over in the corner, and a couple college students trying to hook up before bartime, which was rapidly approaching. On the stage, a piano player, playing an honest-to-God piano, tickled the ivories, singing a song that was pretty and sad, and not at all Avalonian.

=Aѣ϶o πpαnjαt δfεvѣα αnδιzεz αѣ϶o кιδ\ εzo кvα 8 zα\= he sang, his voice working overtime to wring more pathos out of the tune. =Πεyo πpαx- мαzα кεvπ\ εк кαπмεzѣv мαx zεyjo δiyiк δεyv=

One of two bartenders on duty paused to listen, and shook his head. “Mak,” he said, “are you sure you aren’t from Earth?”

= Jofn πpαx- πpα мαzα δyαкι\ εnιz δαyιк πpα эαnιэ\= the pianist sang, before sliding into a slow improvisational fill. “Boss,” he said, “if I was from Earth, I wouldn’t be playing piano here. I’d do like you – start dating a giant, maybe start up a small business, start hiring my own musicians.”

“Don’t bother with dating a giant. Won’t end well,” said a soldier at the end of the bar, who was nursing a beer and his wounded pride.

“Depends on the giant,” Alex said.

“I suppose,” the soldier said. “What are you doing bartending? Thought you owned, like, all the Rixie’s, everywhere.”

“I do,” Alex said. “But it’s kind of nice to come here on a quiet Tuesday and get behind the bar for a few hours. Less thinking about franchise rights, more chatting with heroes of the Battle in Defense of Paletine who are clearly not in good moods.”

“I suppose. And what’s ‘Tuesday?’”

“We’ve been over this,” Mak said.

“Huh?” Alex asked.

“Nothing, boss.”

“Anyhow,” Alex continued, “something clearly didn’t go well on your date with Liss Peten. Oh, what, you think word wouldn’t get around that you were going on a date with Liss? My wife is hitching a ride on the Akelois once it’s fully repaired, they’ve chatted a bit. That was supposed to still be going on, wasn’t it?”

“Took the train in from the mountain,” said Nest. “It kinda was, well….”

* * *

“…awful. Just awful. I couldn’t have fraked up worse if I tried,” Liss said, wringing her hands.

If you’d told her, a few weeks ago, that she’d be feeling bad about a date with a human going poorly, she would have looked at you as if you were speaking Drazari. But a lot can change in a few weeks, and while Liss didn’t necessarily feel bad that the date hadn’t led to anything more, she felt very bad about why it hadn’t.

“What, you accidentally eat him or something?” Xele asked.

“Kid, he probably would have enjoyed that more.”

“So,” a new voice said, “obviously things didn’t go well with Palemst Themego.”

“Ms. Tam,” Liss said, straightening slightly. Rixie gave a slightly dismissive wave, and sat down on a nearby couch.

“Call me Rixie. So what happened?”

Obviously, Pryvani had a number of sitting rooms in the compound on Tayas Mons, and obviously she had some near the guest rooms where Xele Cesil, Karral Villum, and Liss Peten were staying. If it was somewhat less obvious why Rixie had wandered down here, well, Liss was hardly going to mention it. But she had found out some things in her time in the compound. Rixie Tam was married to a human – the one who’d cooked dinner for them, right after they’d been brought in. She had adopted a human child as her son.

Liss swallowed hard, because this story would not make a woman as forward-thinking as Tam think well of her. And that could get back to Lady Tarsuss…and that would be even worse.

“I…I didn’t mean to insult him,” she said. “Honestly.”

“Well, I’d hope not. Insulting someone isn’t a great plan. Unless you’re trying to get out of the date, then it works pretty well,” Rixie said. “But you’re upset about it, so I don’t think you were trying to get out of it.”

“No, no…I was…actually, kind of looking forward to it. I haven’t dated, really, since I got divorced. Never dated a human, but then, I didn’t really think about it as an option. I don’t know, you probably think that’s silly….”

“Who, me?” Rixie said. “I’m sorry, do you think I planned to date Alex? No, Alex just happened. He’s very good at that, really. Nobody was more surprised than I was to find out that we were dating. And…well….”

Rixie trailed off for only a moment; Liss thought she saw a flicker of something – regret, maybe, or sadness – but it passed by before she could process it fully.

“Anyhow,” Rixie said, “I don’t think anyone of those of us who ended up with humans ever thought we would. But enough about me, you were explaining how badly your date went, and I don’t have anything going on until Alex gets back from Atlantis, so tell me, what could you have possibly done? Put a tracking chip in him? Make him poop in litter?”

“I just as good as did,” Liss said. “He said he felt like a gorram pet, before he left.”

“Well, I for one am curious as to what you did to deserve that.”

“Brinn!” Rixie said. “What are you doing down here?”

“Was bored, thought I’d drop by your apartment before we headed down to pick up Nick and Alex at the station, and you weren’t there, so I had the sensors track you down. Gah, can’t believe Taron, Zara, and Sophia are off running an errand for Pryvani.”

“How are you bored?” Rixie asked. “You have forty-three kids that you’re wrangling on your own.”

“Thyllia brought Ryan over to our apartment because he said he wanted to play with Manto, and Odin was already over there, and it was frankly nighttime for Manto already, so they’re getting ready for a slumber party, Vic and Flieta were already asleep, and Sophia took Quentin along on the trip since he’s still nursing, and she’s planning to stay in the ship anyhow.”

“So Thyllia kicked you out so she could rule the roost. Not surprising. It’s the same reason I’m down here,” Rixie said.

“That girl has more maternal instincts than Sophia. Her kids are going to be doted on, even if you don’t factor in who their aunt will be.”

“I didn’t even ask her to baby-sit Ryan, she just showed up!” Rixie said. “Have you met Thyllia, Liss?”

“Huh? No, I…don’t think so. But I’ve heard of her. This is…Thyllia Fand?”

“Don’t judge her by her mother,” Brinn said. “She’s as different from Syon as air and rock.”

“Know how that goes,” Xele said. “So, do you want to hear Liss explain how she screwed up her date with a human soldier?”

“Gah, this is getting to be a bigger audience than I expected,” Liss said.

* * *

“This is getting to be a bigger audience than I expected,” Nest said.

“Conversations involving Rixie Tam flow easier than awkward stories,” Mak the pianist said.

“Huh?”

“Not worth asking,” Alex said. “Besides, Dr. Nick here married a Titan, I’ve adopted a kid with Rixie, and Zhan here married the Goddess, so trust us, you won’t be able to surprise us. And Mak, the bar’s closed, you know.”

“I know, boss,” Mak said. “Just need to clean up a bit, then I’m heading out. Tomorrow night, boss, I’m gonna try out a song I’ve been practicing. You ever hear of a song called ‘Home Sweet Home?’ Think the band is European, their name had an umlaut in it.”

“Mak, seriously, were you born in Cleveland? Des Moines?”

“Wanderer’s Bay.”

“And if you’re gonna do power ballads, would it kill you to learn some Van Halen?”

“My ‘Right Now’ is getting better, not sure it’s ready for performance,” Mak said.

“So since we’re all waiting on Alex to close before we head up to the mountain, what did this girl do to you that was so bad?”

“Well, sir….”

“I’m drinking a beer,” said Zhan, “and if we remember we’re both in the military we could technically get into trouble for fraternization, so drop the ‘sir.’ And what did she do?”

“Well, to start with, she picked me up.”

The three men around him looked blankly at him.

“You know, grabbed me, put me on the table.”

The three men glanced at each other, then back to him.

“I mean…she didn’t ask.”

Alex sighed deeply. “Palemst Themego…I’m hoping that’s not all there is to your story, or you’re about to get an earful from Who’s Who in Atlantis.”

“No, that was…that was the start,” he said. “It went downhill from there.”

* * *

Nest took a deep breath. Part of him was indignant. Part of him was exhilarated.

He’d come up to the mountain, and then grabbed the tram to the private dining room that Liss had selected, near the guest rooms. It took a while – it wasn’t the more modular tram that would be installed around the time of First Contact, but a simpler circulator – but eventually he got to the room, and taking a deep breath, he walked into it.

The rooms in the compound were all designed for dual-use. Some rooms obviously were, some were subtler, but each had doors that could be opened by humans, all had ladders and lifts on most furniture. All had paths laid out for humans to follow, blue lines in the carpet.

He’d walked into the room, taken four steps down the carpet, and stopped.

He’d trained with the Titans, and while he didn’t hang out with them, he was reasonably comfortable around them. He’d even noted that some of them were quite attractive – hells, it seemed like most of them were, at least on Avalon. But when he’d worked with them, they’d been working.

Liss was on a date. And she was dressed for one. Oh, she wasn’t wearing a formal dress or anything – just a knee-length skirt, a tank-top with a Jotnar design on it, ankle-high boots. She was dressed informally.

But that didn’t mean she was ragged clothing that happened to be on top in the drawer. She had clearly picked this outfit carefully, chosen it because it looked good on her. And if she’d been his height, he would have been gobsmacked.

But this pretty woman in a nice outfit stood hundreds of feet tall. Her boots were taller than he, and her bare legs seemed to climb forever, before the skirt cut it off. That skirt…he could see its shadow on her thighs, above him….

And then her top, which was slightly-less-modest than one would pick for a day at home watching television. Liss had breasts that were about average, as far as size was concerned, but the top was tight, and clung to them marvelously. He couldn’t get the full picture from here, but he felt sure that it was cut so that if he looked at her from her height, he would get a vision of décolletage that he could easily get lost in.

He had to crane his neck to see her face; it was framed by the haphazard Jotnar style that she always wore, but there was an intentionality to its chaos. She had not overdone her face – just enough makeup to make her visage stand out beautifully.

Goddess protect him…he was not ready for this.

Liss watched him pause, and she smiled – she hoped it had a coquettish bent to it. She had to admit, she was impressed by his bravery. She had mentioned to Xele the other day that she wondered how Titans must look to humans, and Xele had said that the holographics tech had showed her a program.

Gods…she had not been ready for that. Xele had played the Titan role, and it had taken all of Liss’s willpower not to wet herself. And Xele had been pretty calm, and mostly amused. Imagine asking someone that enormous out on a date…or fighting against them.

She knelt down as he approached – she wasn’t sure why, just seemed like the right thing to do – and on a whim, as he got close enough, she gently grasped him around the middle, and set him onto the table, so she could get a better look at him.

He was ruggedly handsome, which combined with his size made him absolutely adorable. She would have fought back the urge to squeal with delight, but her mood was instantly tempered by the shocked look on his face.

“I did something wrong,” Liss said, moments after setting Nest onto the table.

“No…no, it’s…I mean, it was a long way up, but…usually….”

Nest took a deep breath. It wasn’t easy. She had lifted him carelessly. He knew she could. But still, so much strength, so fluid, breathtakingly beautiful….

He blinked. “You should ask before you pick someone up,” he said.

“Oh. Oh! Gorram, you’re right. I’m…sorry, just…sorry,” Liss said.

“It’s okay,” Nest said. “Really. It’s…fine. So…how are you?”

* * *

“That’s all you did?” Brinn said.

“Really, if he said that made him feel like a pet, it’s on him,” Rixie said.

“No, no,” said Liss, sadly. “That was just the start.”