“A gaffe is when a politician tells the truth.”

—Michael Kinsley

 

Loona had to admit, she’d feared that her entrance into the race would spook Zapat, that he’d hold off on switching caucuses now that a challenger had arisen. But the legislature had come back into session, and Zapat had been handed the chair of the Higher Education committee, and announced he’d be joining the majority. He insisted he was not planning to leave Aspire; however, as Aspire members were forbidden from being part of the majority, he was kicked out at the next caucus meeting. Zapat had grandstanded a bit, claiming that this removal from the caucus was proof that diverse opinions weren’t valued by Aspire, and that he was forming his own caucus, which he called “Independent Aspire.” This brought in some jokes, but Zapat wasn’t stupid, and Ammer recognized it.

“He’s trying to muddy the waters,” he said, as he pored over polling data. “And he’s having some successs.”

“Having Iata Conteneu run her typical hopeless campaign was fortunate for him,” said Malya. “She’s been the conservative foil to him for the last three elections. Barely competent, the definition of token opposition. Still, she’s usually made the run-off, because enough liberals backed him in the primary.”

“Yeah, I’m not sure it isn’t purposeful,” Ammer said. “The conservative bloc could have put up a fight back in 2100, he was vulnerable, but they didn’t. I think they figured he was as conservative as this district would get. Her running helps him this time around, makes him look like nothing has changed.”

“They’re probably right,” Loona said. “What about Dispin Falosen?”

“No question, she’s a threat,” Malya said. “Surprised she’d run, though.”

“I’m not,” Ammer replied. “This is the one shot most pols in this district will have to make the legislature. Vice Chair of the Tannhauser Council is nice and all, but she wants to make it to the big leagues. But she’s more liberal that you are, Loona – wants to triple room-and-board credits. Immediately.”

“That would be nice, but her plan is basically ‘Take half of everything the rich own.’ Not so much a long-term plan as venting,” Loona said.

“Yeah, but venting can be powerful. Always a strain of activists who want everything immediately, right?”

Loona smiled. “I am familiar with some folks like that.”

“Now, right now, you’re running third, behind Falosen and Zapat, but it’s very close. All three of you are within six points of each other. Conteneu is way back in fourth, and a full 20 percent is undecided. But I think there’s a possible move we can make. Still 55 hours until the filing deadline; Malya, any word on Iro Heax?”

“What about Heax?” Loona said.

“Ace in the hole,” Malya said. “You know Iro, she’s a bomb-thrower.”

“Emperor protect her,” Loona grinned. “Any time I needed an incendiary quote, the Tannhauser city council member from Gate North was there to help. Wait…she isn’t planning to run, is she?”

Ammer grinned. “Now, let me preface this by saying if she ever did get competitive, she could be dangerous. But that’s unlikely. Still, she loves getting her name out there. And Malya knows some people who’ve been talking to her.”

“I advised them to donate to her,” Malya said.

“Oh, that’s brilliant,” Loona said. “Did you poll with her in?”

“Add her in, you move into second, Zapat in first. She takes 80 percent of her support from Falosen.”

Loona nodded. “So what needs to be done to get her in?”

“Well…that’s where we’re not sure,” Malya said. “She wants to have her voice heard, and nobody runs to lose, but she needs a little push….”

Loona didn’t hesitate. She picked up the pad, and quickly found Iro’s contact. “Hey, Iro!” Loona said, as the screen lit up. “So I hear you’re thinking of jumping in. Uh-huh. No, I absolutely wouldn’t be offended. No! You be you, that’s what I say. I agree, there’s room for a vigorous debate on the liberal side. Trust me, Iro, if it’s down to you and Zapat, I absolutely would support you, but of course, we’ll all close ranks to get rid of Zapat, right? Terrific. I’m serious! Now, don’t think I’ll hold up on you – and you don’t hold up on me or on Falosen, okay? Great. Good luck. And say hello to Wife-of-Iro for me. Thanks! Bye.”

Loona switched the pad off, and coolly set it down.

“Boss, that’s impressive,” Ammer said.

“I’ve been interviewing Iro for a decade. Reassure her that people take her seriously and she’ll do whatever you want.”

“But people don’t take her seriously,” Malya said.

“Which is why she needs reassuring,” Loona replied.

“All right,” Ammer said, rubbing his hands together. “Now, based on this, you’re in a good spot. You’re the most conservative of the liberals, but you’re liberal enough, and your position on humans makes you more than acceptable to the liberal set. I think we start with attacks on Zapat and nice friendly biography pieces about you, and see where that gets us.”

“All right,” Loona said. “I’m gonna go home for a bit before the rally tonight; Ammer, you have a way home?”

“I live here, remember?” he said, gesturing to the small house tucked into the corner. “Besides, Malya and I have some work to do. We’ll see you there.”

“All right. Thanks again, both of you,” Loona said.

As Loona left, Ammer turned back to his pad. “All right, Umbic ready for tomorrow?”

“Yes, Mr. Smit,” Malya replied.

“Good. And you’ve talked to Mialel?”

“He’s already got the first spot placed. Mr. Smit…at what point do we consider going after the other liberals?”

Ammer looked up. “We would never go after the other liberals, of course,” he said. “We’ll leave that to Heax.”

Malya nodded, and started heading back to her desk. She paused. “Mr. Smit, will you need a lift down?”

Ammer didn’t look up from his perch on a top shelf. “That’s what the ladders are for,” he said.

She nodded. “All right.”

Ammer looked at his pad, for a second, then looked up. She was a good ways across the office already. “Not gonna insist?” he asked.

She turned. “Did you say something?”

Ammer chuckled. He turned on his portable amplifier – one of Dhan Armac’s better inventions – and spoke again. “I said, I’m surprised you aren’t gonna insist. Most Titans will, I’ve found.”

“Yes,” Malya said, “but most Titans treat humans like children or things, and you aren’t. If you say you can climb down, you can.”

Ammer set his pad down. “True enough. Just…question. I know you came in and you’ve been doing a nice job keeping your head down and taking orders from me. Figured it was a paycheck thing, but it isn’t. I’ve gotta admit, Malya…you don’t seem to have any problem taking directions from a human. I appreciate that.”

Malya studied her shoes. “I’m sorry you have to worry about that, Mr. Smit. I truly am. Anyone who’s had their eyes open should know that humans are as smart as anyone else. If you were a Ler or an Avartle, I’d listen to you. But…I know many people wouldn’t.”

“You know, I didn’t tell the boss, but I slipped a question in on human equality. Just curious, we were running the poll anyhow,” Ammer said.

“Really?” Malya replied, looking up. “I…gods, I hope it isn’t as low as I think it is.”

Ammer shook his head. “Only 34 percent in this district, so you know it’s not good. But funny thing – people under 30, it was almost equal. 44 in favor, 48 against. Within the margin of error.”

“Well! Good for us. Anyone who knows a physics major at Tannhauser Gate has at least heard about Dr. Freeman – Dr. Niall Freeman, I mean – and the people I know who took his class have no question about what humans can do. And of course, there are others – Nonah Armac, for one. I…I know this will sound foolish, but I almost think you should use Nonah as an asset.”

Ammer looked down at his pad. “It’s not foolish. Not with these numbers. Not in the primary. But…it’s early. Let’s not forget that, okay?”

Malya nodded, and headed back to her desk. Ammer switched off his amplifier, but he found it hard to concentrate. The last time he’d been to Arcahvia had been when he was not even 18 in Earth years, and he had traveled to Tuaut – the Titans he’d met were condescending and rude, if they acknowledged him at all.

That had been just shy of an Imperial Year ago. And he knew if he traveled to Tuaut now, he’d get much the same reception. But Malya was not the only Tannhauseran who had treated him fairly. There were many who had, and the younger they were, the more likely they were to do so.

He pushed the thoughts aside. There were implications in this, but he had a job to focus on. There would be time to worry about this after the election.

* * *

Weeks passed, and as they did, the primary drew ever-closer. Loona found to her great surprise that the part of the campaign she’d been most leery of – getting out and talking to people – was actually the part she enjoyed the most. She genuinely liked talking to her potential constituents, hearing their stories, thinking about ways to help them. Yes, it was always nice to talk to supporters, especially those who introduced human friends that were friends, gorram it, and not pets – but she found that even those who disagreed with her had useful things to say, and at least a few times, she’d walked out of debates to have the person on the other end say, “Well, I may not agree with you on much, but I just might vote for you. First time a politician’s ever listened.”

She enjoyed that, and between that and some smart strategy, Loona had moved into second behind Zapat, which would get her into the general election, passing Dis Falosen along the way.

Falosen responded the way candidates have for generations. She went negative. Brutally so.

“Loona Armac says she’s not campaigning for human rights. But her history says something else….” intoned one ad. It documented all the times she’d worked for humans, the fact that she’d hired a human campaign manager, and worst, her close relationship with Nonah. The part that really stung was the kicker – “And her pet human even took the last name ‘Armac.’ Just how close are they?”

“It’s speciesist, that’s what it is,” Loona complained. “Just flat-out speciesism. If Nonah was an Avartle friend who lived with me, nobody would be saying a damn thing.”

“We can’t be surprised by this,” Ammer grumbled. A week out, and it was a dead heat for second. “Falosen can read the polls. She knows she has to get by you to win, she’ll pull out all the stops.”

“We need to get back at them,” Nonah said, pacing on Ammer’s shelf. She’d been surprised and gratified when she’d been asked to come down to headquarters with Loona. She wanted to hit Dis Falosen in her stupid face. Rhetorically, of course. Unless she could borrow a portable holoemitters.

“Right now, Nonah, you’re a liability,” Ammer said. “There are two ways to deal with that. First is to treat you like a liability, ship you off to Avalon for the duration, put out rumors that you aren’t really that close to Loona.”

Nonah was shocked. She stared at Ammer, eyes narrowed. Now she wanted to hit him in his stupid face.

But she swallowed it. She knew he was right, in an evil sort of way. She was being used to hurt Loona. She wouldn’t let that happen. “Okay,” she said, quietly.

“What? No, we’re not doing that,” Loona said. “Ammer, I swear, I’ll put up with a lot, but….”

“Calm down, both of you,” Ammer said. “Of course we aren’t doing that. Too late for it to work, for one thing, and Boss, I know you’d never go for it. No, the other way to deal with a liability is to turn it into a strength. That’s why Ms. Stazkal is here. Malya?”

“Nonah, we’d like you to agree to an interview. Talk about your support for Loona, and yeah, your relationship with her.”

Nonah blinked. “Me?”

“Yes, you. You’ve been interviewed about your books before, and you’ve done a nice job – I’ve watched the tapes. More than that, you’re well-respected. Your books are popular. You’re a minor celebrity. Your friendship with Loona should be a benefit to this campaign, and if you’ll go talk to Tannhauser Today, I think it will give Loona the boost she needs to get to the general election.”

Nonah looked up at the calm, friendly Titan. “What if it does the opposite?”

“It could,” Ammer admitted. “Which is why we’ve got you both in here. Boss, this is a bit of a gamble. You’re on average about a point back in the polls. I think our get-out-the-vote is pretty good, but it’s basically a coin flip. This might make it seventy-thirty you win…or seventy-thirty you lose.”

Loona nodded. “If Nonah is willing to do the interview…I’d rather lose with my friend’s support than win without it.”

Ammer nodded. “All right. Have Gaduly call Aralul and set it up. Probably be two days before the primary; Nonah, we’ll do some run-throughs tomorrow, if that’s okay with you.”

“Run-throughs?”

“Practice interviews. We want you to be ready,” Malya said. “It isn’t because you’re human,” she hastened to add.

“Okay,” Nonah said, dubiously.

“I mean, we do this to any campaign surrogate. Mr. Smit did it to me when I had to handle the daily briefing last week.”

“I didn’t think it was because I was human,” Nonah said with a slight grin.

“I…gorram, I sound like an idiot.”

“But a well-meaning idiot, Ms. Stazkal,” Nonah said gently. “It’s okay. I appreciate what you mean.”

Malya smiled. “Thanks. Incidentally…I loved Bilkameth. It was really beautiful.”

“Thanks!” Nonah said, with a grin. “Have you read The Journey yet? I think if you liked Bilkameth, you’ll like that.”

“My friend Zu told me that. I’m gonna try once the campaign is over.”

“Terrific,” Nonah said.

* * *

Two days before the primary, Nonah was in a studio in Tannhauser Gate, a few centiunits from a microphone specially aimed to pick up her smallish voice. They’d brought in a smaller camera for close-ups on her; Ammer had done the pancake make-up for her himself, before sending her to the interview with Malya.

“…so while I think it’s funny, no, Loona and I aren’t in love. She’s like my sister. I mean…it would just be weird.”

Hyta Beleria leaned back in his chair. “But you do have friends who are a human-titan couple. Naskia Freeman and Niall.”

“Well, yes,” Nonah said. “The Doctors Freeman love each other, and their daughter is friends with mine.”

“So you don’t see anything wrong with that?”

Nonah tilted her head just slightly. “No,” she said. “Any more than I see something wrong with a Dunnermac dating a Ler.”

“But humans aren’t Class One Sentient Beings,” Beleria said.

“I don’t know,” Nonah said. “I think I’ve been handing this interview pretty well, don’t you?”

Beleria leaned in. “Still, you have to admit, there are a lot of people who do see this as wrong, don’t you?”

Nonah sighed. “Yes. But that’s just because of the same bigotry that says I can’t have the money from my writings, or my husband can’t have the money from his inventions.”

“So Titans are bigots?”

“Of course Titans are bigots,” Nonah said. This was ridiculously self-evident. “You can buy and sell us like we’re furniture. Thankfully, some of you are willing to see how wrong that is, and I get to call many of you friends. But as a whole? The system views me as a thing, not a person. Am I supposed to look at that system and say it’s okay?”

“There are many people who say your opinion of the system doesn’t matter.”

“I’m sorry for them,” Nonah said. “But if they’re listening to me – really listening to me – and still think that I am not smart enough to have opinions, then I’d argue their opinion is the one that should be doubted.”

“All right. We’ll leave it there. Nonah Armac is a friend of candidate Loona Armac, and the author of the bestselling book Ninety-Nine Fables of Earth. We’ll be back after this.”

“She kicked his butt!” Loona said, triumphantly, watching at the office.

“Maybe,” Ammer said, grimacing. “Or she may have just handed Dis the primary.”